We all have one thing about our body we wish we could change. For many of us, that one thing is our lips… our very, very, (very) thin lips. And the hangup started not because of the pouty supermodels in magazines, but a slumber party of yore — you know, back in the day when sleeping over at your BFF’s house meant makeoverrrs! Only, when she told you to pucker up and you did, she continued to stand there, lip gloss wand in hand, as if you hadn’t puckered at all. Womp, womp.
Or you know, I could just be projecting.
Here are 15 more things you’ll only understand if you too have a lackluster pout (in other words, it doesn’t exist):
1. To do your makeup, you first have to spend 20 minutes finding your lips.
2. You don’t own one lip gloss that doesn’t have some rendition of the word “plump” on the label.
3. When your lips are chapped, they disappear entirely.
4. The only time they looked all Angelina Jolie was when your little brother accidentally elbowed you in the face — and it was amazing.
5. When you outline your lips with lip liner, you’re done.
6. The sales rep at Sephora always seems nervous when you walk in.
7. When you pout, nothing changes.
8. You’ve thought about injections, but knowing your luck this would happen:
9. When you blot your lipstick, your lip print looks like an equals sign.
10. When you bite your lip, you don’t look sexy — you look constipated.
11. Putting on lipstick means giving yourself a makeup mustache.
12. You also don’t bother checking to see whether it’s on your teeth because it’s totally on your teeth.
13. The only lip gloss wand you can use for flawless coverage belongs to your 4-year-old niece.
14. When a guy kisses you, it feels like there’s a plunger on your face.
15. Googling solutions for thin lips means finding more information on vaginal reconstruction surgery than you ever thought possible.
More beauty tips
13 Lipstick shades to know and love
Before you go bold: Best lip exfoliates
Don’t skip the lip balm: Benefits of hydrated lips