At times it seems perfectly appropriate to us to wear our jammies to a funeral or to meet the queen, but it really isn’t. Fear not! We’re here to help you distinguish between the yays and the nays of pyjama-wearing.
Oh boy. Unfortunately pyjamas have evolved beyond their designated purpose of serving as sleepwear and have now morphed into many people’s “wear-it-alls.” As in, they are worn everywhere. Shamelessly. All the time.
Obviously we can sympathize with the incredible urge to never take off your PJs and put on your “real” clothes, but you’re a grown-up, and that’s what we have to do. To simplify the issue at hand, we have concisely outlined the appropriate times to wear your pyjamas versus when you should probably leave them in your room.
Yes, you can!
In your backyard
Hey, if it’s your property, then you can do whatever your little heart desires. So if you feel like lounging on your patio or pulling some weeds whilst rocking a particularly worn-out pair of jammies, then be our guest. And your pedantic neighbours can just kiss your fleece-covered butt.
At any pyjama-themed event
This is a pretty good rule to follow: When in doubt, ask yourself, “Will I be the only one in my PJs?” If the answer is affirmative, then change immediately. Seriously, change right now. You may, however, rock your flannel pyjamas at a slumber party-type shindig with your girlfriends or your child’s pyjama-themed movie night at school.
To get the mail or put out the garbage
If you pop out of your house to pick up the mail in your mailbox or to drag your 50 pounds worth of recyclable goodies to the curb, the world will not end. Maybe just check for some conspicuous holes in the derriere and crotch-ular areas beforehand, because you don’t want to scare an unawares passerby.
To go to the car and back
And we mean exactly that. It’s not to the car, to the gas station and back. It’s literally a quick jog to your ride and back to the house. This is acceptable if certain items have been forgotten in your car and you must retrieve them immediately. This does not apply to car-washing or car-vaccuming — put your clothes on, for Pete’s sake!
Unless you are grocery shopping in your sleep, this is unacceptable. You are not preparing for bed, nor are you in a lounging environment within the safety of your home. Therefore you do not retain the right to subject innocent people to your jammies. We know pyjamas are comfy, but at least manage to pull on a pair of sweats and a tee.
At work or for an interview
Unless your goal is to remain or become unemployed, we do not recommend waltzing into an interview or your workplace rocking them PJs. We know the struggle is real and the temptation is tasty, but you’re better than that. Slap on a pair of chewed-up trousers, and suck it up.
To take a walk
No. No. And no. If you are already taking the initiative to take walks and be healthier, then do not negate it by looking like a children’s TV show host. Put on athletic clothes or just jeans, and then take your walk. Nobody wants to see pyjama-clad people in the park — it’s just unnatural.
At a parent-teacher interview or any school-related event
If this needs an explanation, then we might be in quite a pickle here. If you work at a school or will be attending an event for your child, then for the love of baby Zeus, wear your civilian clothing. This kind of reckless wardrobe selection can lead to years of therapy for any kid. Don’t do it.
On a date
Wearing pyjamas for a date is only appropriate if you are going out with a Teletubby. If not, then woman up, and put on something cute. Or slinky. And super sexy. Or casual. Or something — anything — that is not pyjamas. You’ll be fine.
At the gym
We get it. The gym is a place where our dreams and hopes go to die a slow death. Rolling in there wearing your pyjamas sounds pretty darnitty tempting. But you’ve already dished out the cash for the membership, so you may as well strut in there like a fitness veteran in your spandex shorts, and burn more fat than a motherflippin’ calorimeter. It only makes sense.
To a wedding
Unless it’s the theme of the wedding, pyjamas are probably not a good choice. Sure, your Aunt Berta is going to make a comment about your weight, and Uncle Wallis will inquire about your never-ending singledom, so it almost makes sense to put zero effort into getting dressed. But again, you can do better. Dress up like a marshmallow peep, or smite them with a sexy gown, but just get out of those jammies!
Admit it: How many times have you worn your pyjamas to inappropriate places (and we don’t mean at a strip club — we mean unfitting events)?