Uh oh! Our narcissism has been captured by this strangely addictive blog

Oct 9, 2014 at 1:55 p.m. ET
Image: Andrew Burton / Staff / Getty Images

Narcissism Today is a Tumblr blog devoted to showcasing random selfies taken with floor-model devices at New York City-area Apple stores.

The result is a fascinating case study in today’s selfie culture.

The author, who has been identified as Gavin Schneider, reportedly collects the photos taken on floor model devices by AirDrop-ping them onto his own device and posts them to this oddly fascinating blog.

There is something about selfies that seem to reveal much more about the subject than the need to clean their bathroom mirror. And compulsive selfie takers often fall into general groups or categories. The high-priestess of the selfie, Kim Kardashian West, is at one far end of the selfie spectrum.

Thanks to the work of Narcissism Today, and my own tireless study, it’s evident that most of the selfie-obsessed patrons from area NYC Apple Stores fall into one of these following categories. I want to be clear this is in no way a criticism of any particular person in the pictures. We’ve all been one or more of these folks and taken one or more of this brand of selfie. So, it is in that spirit of shared selfie shame, I give you the 5 flavors of Apple Store selfie obsession according to the sampling on the Narcissism Today Tumblr.

1. Simply #flawless

apple selfie flawless girl

There are just some people who fully own the selfie and when faced with rows of smartphones and cameras at the Apple Store, it’s practically their patriotic duty to lend their selfie image to the public collection.

apple store selfie flawless boy

They have a look, know how to take the perfect picture, and make the rest of us look unworthy to flip the smartphone lens on ourselves.

apple store selfie flawless

These people, the #Flawless people, shouldn’t be ridiculed for their selfie snaps. They simply have a gift that needs to be shared with the world.

apple store selfie flawless mom daughter

Don’t hate. They woke up like this.

2. Sorry kid, no iPhone for you

apple store selfie no iphone

There also appears to be a heavy representation of kids who are taking pictures in a failed attempt to convince their parents how much better life would be for everyone if they had their own iPhone.

apple store selfie no iphone for you kid

You see the kids cuddling up to their parents, trying to demonstrate that they could take loving family selfies all the time if they could take home their very own device.

apple store selfie no iphone

Plus, think about the studying they could do on the go?

apple store selfies no iphone for you kid

Sorry, kid. No one’s buying it.

3. We’re fun! See?

apple store selfie were fun

It happens to the best of us. But, no, there's nothing fun about forced merriment or that look on your faces.

apple store selfie were fun

How fun can shopping at the Apple store really be, anyway?

apple store selfie were fun

There’s a lot of pressure in these situations. I get it. But it makes for wonderfully uncomfortable viewing.

4. I look good in these.

apple store selfie i look good in these

And you know what?

apple store selfie i look good

They do.

apple store selfie i look good

They really do look good in those headphones.

apple store selfie i look good

Ring them up!

*All images courtesy of Narcissism Today blog

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