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We’re really not that? surprised that this woman got a third boob

Every girl has something they do physically when they don’t feel like dating. Some wear frumpy sweats, others duck down in shades and hats while some of us (read: me) watch Center Stage on endless repeat while wearing a tutu and crying that Peter Gallagher will never wiggle his eyebrows at me. Yet these things are all temporary.

When Jasmine Tridevil decided she was done dating, she went a more permanent route by getting breast implants. But this wasn’t just any ordinary revenge boob job; instead Jasmine got a third breast, a new sister nestled between her original two.

“I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” she explained. “Most guys would think it’s weird and gross. But I can still feel pretty because if I wore makeup and cute clothes, I can still, you know, feel pretty.”

Driving away men isn’t the only reason for getting the, um, unconventional surgery, however. Jasmine’s reasoning became a lot clearer when she admitted her ultimate goal is to get her own reality show on MTV and figured the disfigurement would help her attain that.

Yet while Jasmine’s new appearance (if it is indeed real and not a hoax) is pretty shocking, what isn’t so surprising is that a young woman would turn to extreme body modification to get attention. She certainly wouldn’t be the first woman to feel like she needs to alter her appearance to get a job or control her love life.

Her triplets highlight a growing trend in our society: It’s no longer enough to be beautiful, smart or talented, especially if you want fame. These days to get ahead you have to have some superhuman element, some kind of hook, which can often mean enhancement.

Whether it be through plastic surgery, powerful amphetamines, diet pills, clever makeup tricks or hair extensions, we’re all told that we need to be more. It’s endemic through all society, from the top tiers of Hollywood with their ageless faces to the academic wunderkinds on Adderall to the teens getting breast enhancements before they’ve even finished puberty.

Really, Jasmine did what most of us do in some way but she just did it to an extreme. So perhaps we shouldn’t be asking why she did it but rather why it will probably get her what she wants. Already, she’s “internet famous” and I’m guessing it won’t take long before she gets noticed by print and television as well. If she doesn’t get her own reality show, it’s an easy bet that she’ll find a place on an existing show.

After all, it’s no coincidence that a major plot line on the wildly popular American Horror Story features a three-breasted woman. And let’s not forget Total Recall did it first. Breasts aren’t interesting anymore —  they’re everywhere in every form now. But three breasts? That’s shock value. And it’s what our society now seems to expect in order to keep our collective attention.

So why’d she really do it? Because we wanted it. When you look at it that way, getting the $20,000 surgery seems like a decent business plan.

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