If you have ever birthed a child, I have bad news for you: You are going to hell. Spoiler alert — it’s not going to be a good time. The reason for your damnable sentence? You wear skintight yoga pants that turn on innocent men and lead them astray. For shame!
I’m a mom. Sometimes I get confused where my yoga pants end and my skin begins, I wear them so much. I’m always ready to refute the usual anti-yoga pants argument: Yoga pants aren’t real pants. You can’t wear them out in public unless you are actually going to yoga. To which I normally reply: Try and stop me.
This is what it’s like to live the controversial #momcore lifestyle, where the comfort, flexibility and snot-disguising power of yoga pants used as Kleenex for young children are widely misunderstood. The struggle is real.
But recently I heard an anti-yoga pants argument that I had never heard before. Let me preface by saying that I am a Christian, and I love God. I don’t always love religion, and I definitely don’t love how religious people take Christian truths out of context.
With that being said, I am shocked to hear that there is a Christian blogger movement against yoga pants (subtext: anti-momcore). Yoga pants are in, but Christian modesty shamers want them out. Dianna E. Anderson of Refinery29 says, “According to proponents of modesty, by dressing in clothes that reveal a feminine form, women place focus upon their bodies and not upon their intellect. The emphasis is on women in particular because men are supposedly more visual and prone to lustful thoughts.”
I have heard this modesty doctrine preached literally hundreds of times as a churchgoer and Bible college student throughout my life, but it doesn’t get any less offensive to me as a woman. I also never imagined that my beloved yoga pants would be under fire for causing my “Christian brothers” to stumble.
This is crap. It is not a woman’s responsibility to dress in a certain way to protect another man (or woman) from temptation. This is victim blaming at its best, and I won’t let my yoga pants or any other item of clothing take the fall for it. Some, but certainly not all, Christians are on the lookout for anyone or anything to blame for their supposed sins. If lust really is an issue, the problem lies with the person who is being tempted — not the innocent bystander wearing comfy yoga pants.
To the religious folk blowing modesty out of proportion and blaming sin on sexy, sexy yoga pants: weak argument. I am positive I will be wearing yoga pants in heaven.