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Disturbing confessions of a real estate agent

Being a real estate agent is serious business. They have to deal with picky buyers and very stingy sellers, but that’s not even the crazy part. One real estate agent shares some of her insane property finds and insider info in this “day in the life.”

The real estate agent, who has chosen to remain anonymous due to indiscretions committed by herself and co-workers, is located somewhere in the desert Southwest. Having been a Realtor for 16-plus years, she has seen her share of weird things in houses and odd behaviors of not only sellers and buyers, but the actual real estate agents themselves. And although she has never witnessed anyone “squatting” (living in an abandoned home illegally), she does know a few real estate agents who have used homes for their own private use.

“I had a partner that would put a sign on one of the model doors that said ‘closed for repainting’ so that he could take a nap (typically after a late night) and another who would party after work and, because she lived so far, would sleep in the model rather than traveling back home. For breakfast, that same partner would eat the cookie dough, which was meant for a fresh batch of cookies for potential buyers … and even turned her dress inside out on a few occasions to avoid missing any appointments for the day.”

Beyond just the napping, our real estate informer also states that a few new-home agents are said to have a tradition of jumping in the pool of the model before its grand opening day for “good luck,” similar to christening a ship. But sometimes these agents don’t have their bathing suits. We’ll go ahead and let your imagination take it from there…

A common behavior seen by potential buyers of a home is when the model bathroom is utilized for a number two. This doesn’t sound too bad until she points out that they typically do not have the water turned on in the models, nor do they have toilet paper in the bathrooms. So where do they wipe? Our real estate agent replies, “You don’t even want to know.”

Our informer’s most startling find came after spotting mystery stains on the kitchen ceiling.

“I figured I would get up there and try to clean the stains by wiping them with water and a rag, but this method didn’t do anything. So I sprayed the ceiling with Pine-Sol and the stain kind of broke into pieces. Being a mother and having wiped up the occasional nosebleed or a cut from one of my children, I knew immediately that what I was wiping was blood. I looked around while standing on the counter and realized the blood was splattered all over.”

She follows up to say that she had to have the entire ceiling repainted before putting the home on the market. “Come to find out, the previous tenants did raise chickens for food, so putting two and two together, it could have very well been animal blood, or I just covered up a crime scene; either way, it was definitely the most interesting thing I had seen.”

Um… gross.

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever encountered when on the market for a new home? Share in the comments below.

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