We already know that East Coasters and West Coasters are completely different. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to put those differences into words. As West Coasters, we thought it was time to explain a few things to all those yanks coming to visit.
The next car will let you over
We see your blinker, but that first car in the next lane is always going to want to speed up and get by you. Don’t think of it as “not letting” you over. Think of it as, “making room” for you behind us.
Motorcyclists aren’t jerks when they pass between two lanes
The first time you drive in California, you’re going to have a motorcycle whiz between you and the car next to you while you sit in traffic. Resist the urge the scream at them. They’re allowed. It’s better for the environment and their engines if they keep moving instead of stopping and stalling out.
All lanes are the fast lanes
Seriously. If you get stuck in a middle lane and you’re not going fast enough, it’s probably safer to stay where you are than to try to get over. We’re already passing you on both sides. Wait for a huge gap. Also: We view speed limits as suggestions.
We work to live not live to work
Nothing annoys us more than listening to East Coasters talk about their job or how long they work each week. We want to hear about what you do with the money you earn. And, yes, true West Coasters will always leave the office in time to stop and catch a few waves before heading home.
“Let’s do lunch” means you should expect a sit-down meal and a real convo
You shouldn’t be proud about eating lunch at your desk. That’s ridiculous. The West Coast boasts more days of sunshine than anywhere else. If you’re not using you lunch hour-ish to soak up the rays while chatting with your friend, you’re making poor life decisions.
Out and about
Avocado is a superfood and quinoa is a protein
Stop complaining about how avocado is on everything. It’s like that for a reason… it’s delicious and it’s healthy. We’re also obsessed with quinoa because it feels and tastes like rice but is actually a protein. How awesome is that?
We’re not judging you. We barely know you exist
Seriously. Some of us love fashion, some of us love flip-flops. This isn’t the place to expect scowls if you choose the wrong seasonal color or have a slightly unique personal style. As adults, we have much more important things to worry about than what others are wearing.
Everyone knows someone in “the industry”
Sometimes it’s bragging, sure. Mostly, though, it’s just a part of our lives to mention the friend who works on that show you love or to toss out the name of a schoolmate who’s in this new movie.
There’s always someone prettier, younger
West Coast is hard, baby. Guys all over the world always want someone younger and prettier. In the long run, though, they usually have their age limits and know the limits of their own quasi-attractiveness. On the West Coast, there’s always some dumber, prettier girl to steal your mildly wealthy, semi-cute dude.
This may not be the end-all, be-all guide to West Coast life. Our lives are pretty intricate. It should, however, be a decent guide for helping you neurotic East Coasters survive out here on the left coast.