Beatniks had their berets, ’50s-era Bobby Soxers had their poodle skirts and the ’80s had neon. But, in terms of real evolution, what we wear hasn’t changed as dramatically over the years as you might think.
Designers used to dream of what folks in the year 2000 would wear. They would be deeply disappointed to see that none of us are rocking skin-tight metallic-colored unitards paired with fishbowl-style space helmets covering our heads. They would also probably be sad that flying cars are not a thing. I know I am.
Luckily for us, some plucky (read: possibly disturbed) designers are doing something that could shake up the fashion world. I’ve got two words for you: Scented. Jeans. There’s more than one company out there trying to make stinky denim a good thing.
First off we have Salsa, a brand out of Portugal. Their Colette Fragrance Jeans are a skinny cut that comes in several fruit-inspired, washed-out white colors. Each pair has a distinctly fruity scent, and is meant to keep that aroma for 20 washes. Why? That is anyone’s guess. I feel hungry and nauseated even considering this idea.
But don’t worry, if it appeals to you, the guy in your life doesn’t have to feel left out. Naked + Famous has Scratch-n-Sniff Denim available for the menfolk. They look just like a pair of 401s, or any other classic cut of jean. But they smell like a raspberry soda. Now you and your loved one can both stink of fruits together — just don’t wash your jeans at the same time unless you’re trying to create some sort of fruit cocktail.
While I appreciate the ingenuity these companies are bringing to their lines, doesn’t this seem a bit (pardon the pun) fruitless? Who is going to pay slightly more to have jeans that are particularly pungent? Usually that’s something we try to avoid with soap, water, and you know, general hygiene.
Also, the stank that makes these jeans more expensive doesn’t last forever. Think of the science wasted on these pants. I want my haute couture space helmet. Heck, I’d settle for truly smudge-proof glasses, shirts that deflect rain and pants that come with a personal heating or air conditioning unit.