Teens in China are apparently dragging around cabbages on leashes like leafy little pets, but we can’t help but think there are far better things to drag around than a hunk of produce. Here are a few of our picks.
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A vacuum cleaner
There are plenty of benefits to dragging around a vacuum cleaner. First and foremost, its lifespan on a leash has got to be longer than cabbage. Plus, it’s useful — if you find a power source, you can use your vacuum pet to do everything from clean up crumbs to pull up your hair.
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Who doesn’t love to get mail? Opening up your mailbox and finding something is one of life’s simple joys. If you drag around a mailbox, everything you store in it and pull out later will feel delightfully like a present delivered via the postal system.
A bowling ball
When you’re dragging a bowling ball behind you on a leash, you don’t have to worry about how bad you are at the actual sport. Not to mention, unlike cabbage, a bowling ball will just roll right over every bit of debris and every bump in the road, as opposed to getting snagged and basically turned into coleslaw along the way.
A cardboard box (or two)
A plain old cardboard box, when dragged around, is basically like a mobile hotel. You can literally pack your bed right into it and just pop open the flaps and crawl in when you’re ready for some shut-eye. And if you’re looking for a quick pick-me-up to put a smile on your face, a cardboard box also makes a great prop for pranks (aka, scaring the living daylights out of anyone who crosses your path).
A picture of Ryan Gosling
Photo credit: The-Mommies-Network.blogspot.com
Does this need any further explanation? Suffice it to say, we feel as though a picture of Ryan Gosling would be far superior company to a head of cabbage. Is a head of cabbage going to keep you warm? Tell you how beautiful you are? OK, fine… the picture won’t either. But a girl can dream, can’t she?
When it comes to usability, the applications are endless with a pillow — you can sit on it, lie on it, arm yourself with it for the impromptu pillow fight, buffer sound with it, etc., etc., etc. Bonus? Just take a cue from Mr. Pillowhead and use your “leash” to wrap the pillow on your head during the day, so you never have to be without a cushy spot to rest your cranium.
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Because, well, c’mon… what’s cooler than a robot? One of these little mechanical wonders would put your friends’ cabbage pets to shame.
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