Sometimes the best thing about closing out the year is taking a stroll down memory lane and revisiting celebrity scandals, sensational headlines and fashion flops. It provides both a hearty chuckle and a stark reminder of what not to do in the coming year. Here are a few fashion trends that were introduced (or reintroduced) in 2011 and have overstayed their welcome:
And the crowd goes wild. These were a bad idea for a variety of reasons. Firstly, this trend ticked off anglers everywhere because the feathers fishermen needed for fly fishing were in drastically short supply. Worse than that, however, was that this look was tolerable when worn by tweens, but then soccer moms everywhere thought it was a good idea to put feathers in their hair. There was a feather line, and they crossed it. Women can have strange ideas about what looks good sometimes. We spend all this time and money to make our hair not look like a birds nest, and then we fill it with feathers. No wonder guys make fun of us occasionally.
Don’t you just love how designers try to breathe new life into an old trend that is no longer a trend for a reason? They think if they pitch it to a generation that is not familiar with the style, it will look new and hip. That’s just what happened with high-waisted jeans, only this questionable fashion trend is just hippy, not hip. That is to say it looks dreadful on all women because we have hips. Only ultra-thin women can get away with this. And ultra-skinny women represent such a small percentage of the female population, they have no business setting trends.
Shoes experiencing an identity crisis
There are novel ideas, and then there are just ideas that shamelessly hijack several other concepts and combine them into one regrettable trend. Take these shoes, for example. Are they a sandal, a boot, a wedge, a platform? They don’t know what they are. They’re a mess. These are the kind of shoes that women wear for other women, and they make men cringe. We guarantee these will not be around by fall of 2012. How can we be so confident? Because they will be replaced by their Ugg, stiletto, espadrille cousin.
We can file this trend under “things that make us go huh.” These nails look like you dropped a hammer on your cuticle and didn’t know what to do about it, so you painted the tip of your nail to make it look intentional. There is no excuse for that rounded nail, however. Women under the age of 94 should never shape their nails like this. Ever. This trend makes it look like you bought the cheapest, most hideous press-on drug store nails you could find and then couldn’t get them off.
Okay, before all you grey eyeshadow wearing divas freak out, allow us to clarify. It’s not the smudgy/sexy/smoky look that has worn out its welcome. As usual, we took a fashion trend that was appealing, fed it steroids and screwed it all up. Smoky eye, as it was first introduced and when done properly, is still okay. What is not okay is that the Real Housewives took this look (yes, we’re talking to you, Real Housewives of New Jersey) from smoky eye to black eye. It’s the “I took a charcoal briquette out of the barbeque and smeared it all over my eyelid” approach to smoky eye that can be on its merry way. Time to drown this look in the Jersey Shore.
Unless you are a piece of jewelry, a tree ornament or getting ready to star in an Austin Power’s movie, wrapping yourself in gold is a 14 carat fashion flop. This can be done with some success, very rarely, on a red carpet, where a regal/royal look is appropriate. If you’re not on a red carpet, and you’re wearing a gold dress, you more than likely look like a big gaudy bow on a present. Gold really doesn’t complement anyone’s skin tone or hair color. There are a few colors that don’t translate well to fabric, and gold is one of them. Beige is another. But thanks to Angelina Jolie, we’ll probably have to stomach that trend for another couple years.