Resolutions for couples

Dec 11, 2009 at 2:34 p.m. ET

The New Year always brings about the same old resolutions: Eat better, spend more wisely, exercise more... Why not share your resolutions with your partner this year? You won't be alone, and together you'll form a support system for each other. Plus, you might just have a better relationship when you're done! Here, our experts suggest new year's resolutions for couples.

Romantic Dinner out

Spend more quality time together

Don't just do chores and sleep next to each other. Resolve to make time for each other, according to Dave Herz, president and founder of, and Michale Behmer, co-creator of Chaos to Connection on The relationship experts suggest that you and your man schedule a regular date -- weekly, monthly or every other week throughout the year. "Set a weekly date night that is unmovable. This is so important for couples. By just going out to dinner (and it can be a budget-friendly dinner because the important thing is going together), you will be amazed at how deeply you will connect," they explain. "You don't have to cook or clean or do anything! Then, watch what happens! You begin to create a container where you can let down. It might take a few times to relax into it, so don't give up."

Help each other

"Find out what each others' goals for the year are and how you can help each other achieve them," say Herz and Behmer. "Listen to each other, and commit to make time to listen to your beloved when he has something to share." This year, you should both attempt to give each other your full attention. "Remember, it's not about fixing anything," say Herz and Behmer. "You just have to listen, show empathy, acknowledge his feelings, and don't give advice."

Have more sex

Another resolution couples should make, say Herz and Behmer, is to have more sex. "Such a connection is always a good thing," according to the relationship gurus. "In other words, seriously commit to being more romantic with each other. For men, this might be doing [the romantic thing], and for women, this might be branching out in lingerie."

Make changes

"Change something, anything," says Freeman Michaels, author of Weight Release: A Liberating Journey. "Make a change, preferably something you have resistance to, that has nothing to do with your New Year's resolution. For example, rearrange your bedroom." The mere act of changing something affects you emotionally, as well as your partner. "When we can learn to be comfortable with change, it motivates us to try new behaviors -- and helps those new behaviors stick." That can be a great trait for couples to have. The change will be good for both you and your beau.

Be more open

"Resolve to be more open and honest. It's a risk, but it will test your relationship in a healthy way," says Jim McCormick, author of The Power of Risk. "If your partner can't handle the openness, better to know now than later." In addition to that, McCormick suggests that you resolve to ask your partner what you can do to make your relationship better. "It's a risk that can result in a deeper connection and more fun," he adds. Then, talk to your partner about what he can do to make your relationship better. "Improving a relationship is a two-way street," McCormick explains. "Take the risk of making sure your partner is committed to making the relationship better."