Totally realistic women and their biological clocks

by Elizabeth Yuko
Jan 9, 2017 at 11:00 a.m. ET

Women love nothing more than to be reminded of our ever-ticking biological clock, where every second we are not pregnant, giving birth or raising children is a tragic missed opportunity. Thankfully, there is no shortage of stock photos depicting women holding clocks over their uteruses so any media coverage of women’s reproductive issues can be punctuated with the reminder that our childbearing years are numbered. Have a quick look at these stock images representing the onward march of time — before your eggs turn to dust.

1 /11: Pink is for girls... get it?

1/11 :Pink is for girls... get it?

Just so there is no confusion, this bright pink biological clock lets you know that this is a woman because pink is for girls, and girls turn into women who should get pregnant before it’s too late.

2 /11: Priorities, people

2/11 :Priorities, people

Unfortunately, this woman spends too much time in thrift stores looking for colorful vintage dresses and antique cuckoo clocks and is running out of time to have babies.

3 /11: All work and no pants

3/11 :All work and no pants

This woman is so busy with her career that she doesn’t have time to put pants on, let alone have a baby.

4 /11: When your mother wishes you were a ho-ho-ho

4/11 :When your mother wishes you were a ho-ho-ho

This pink biological clock festively dressed in a Santa hat is perfect for reminding your mother that she does not yet have grandchildren.

5 /11: Somewhere a kindergarten class is missing a teaching clock

5/11 :Somewhere a kindergarten class is missing a teaching clock

This man either does not want to hear about his wife’s ticking biological clock or is ashamed that he never learned how to tell time on a clock with hands.

6 /11: Not a hospitable climate

6/11 :Not a hospitable climate

This clock lets us know that this woman’s uterus is as barren as that desert.

7 /11: Even French women can't escape

7/11 :Even French women can't escape

This lady took time out of her schedule of miming on the streets of Paris and intermediate-level karate classes to let us know that she’s not pleased with her ticking time-womb.

8 /11: Before your fertility goes out to sea

8/11 :Before your fertility goes out to sea

Calgon take me away [from the biological constraints of time-sensitive fertility]!

9 /11: Like ones in the back of the fridge, your eggs are expiring

9/11 :Like ones in the back of the fridge, your eggs are expiring

Not even a wooly sweater will keep those eggs from disintegrating.

10 /11: An inside look

10/11 :An inside look

BONUS: For those who like their stock images as literal as possible.

11 /11: Hourglass figure

11/11 :Hourglass figure

BONUS: Like sands through an hourglass, so are the eggs of our ovaries.