Almost 30 years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman released his book The Five Languages. Ever since, personality type enthusiasts revere it alongside astrology and Meyers Briggs, letting these love languages act as a barometer of how we give and receive affection.
For the love language neophytes stopping by, Chapman theorizes that there are five primary ways we express love in relationships, summed up in a few key gestures:
Words of Affirmation: Saying affirmative phrases that make someone feel loved and secure. Things like “Did I tell you how grateful I am for you today?”, “I love how you always make me laugh”, “I’m proud of you,” and “I’m the happiest when you’re around”.
Acts of Service: Giving up your time for actions that you know your partner will appreciate, like filling up their gas, cooking a meal for them and being ready to step in when they need help.
Gifts: It’s not about materialism, it’s about tokens of love. The best gifts are ones that have thoughtfulness and effort behind them. Birthdays and holidays are an extra opportunity to show off you know what’s meaningful to your partner.
Quality Time: Time is valuable, and it’s best spent with your partner’s undivided attention, whether that looks like a conversation over coffee or watching a movie together.
Physical Touch: Hugs, kisses, caresses and all the other intimate touches that express love and capitalize on human contact.
We technically “speak” all five love languages, but one should resonate more deeply to signal your dominant love language. If you’re still unsure which language you’re partial to, this online quiz will help you narrow things down.
Now let’s get to the juicy part. Once you’ve got a handle on the love languages, check out our recommendations for the best sex toys that coordinate with each gesture. (Utter nonsense? Maybe, but you know we can’t pass up an opportunity to shop.)
We’ve got options for both solo and S.O. play to help make bedroom-physical-intimacy-time spicy, so take your pick besties.
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