Goop’s known for its super niche collection of luxury products, namely the “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle that broke the internet, so it’s not entirely wild to wonder: What Goop product are you, based on your zodiac sign? Sure, we can’t buy a majority of the items without making our wallet cry, but we’ve tried to resist the temptation and we just can’t look away.
ICYMI, Gwyneth Paltrow’s the mastermind behind the high-end wellness brand, and she never ceases to keep us on our toes with her latest product drops or with a Netflix series where her team investigates some eyebrow-raising wellness topics. Let’s face it: The Goop saga is here to stay so might as well indulge!
We know we’re not the only ones posing this Goop-y shopping question to ourselves, so we did you the favor of digging through allll the outlandish products, and now we’ve got the official zodiac-inspired report to share. While some people may lean on the speciality brand for more practical things, like the best Goop product for wrinkles or best vitamins, we think this is a more fun route to explore.
All we can say is that the Goop suspense is real. The bottom line is that the brand is no stranger to all things outrageous and over-indulgent, so what would be more entertaining than dreaming up what Goop product you are based on how the stars align (especially while we’re stuck at home)?
We’ll get straight to it because we know you can’t take the anticipation for one more second. So, what Goop product are you? From custom bar carts to a vibrator, here’s what every sign — from the competitive Aries to the truth-seeking Sagittarius — should snag (in an alternate universe with endless money, of course) from Goop to match their personality to a T. And obviously, you’ll discover what lucky sign gets to claim the earth-shattering orgasm candle that made the world quake in its boots for a second time post-vagina candle and post-15K dildo. I may not be an astrologer, but these finds are pretty spot on if I do say so myself.
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