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I just want to be friends — I think

I went from country club wife and mother of high school students to a single, 39-year-old “cougar.” In this weekly feature, I will share with you all the mind-boggling, head-scratching, is-this-someone’s-idea-of-a-joke moments from my so-called single life. Consider this your private invitation to my tremendous learning curve…

Couple hugging outdoors

Bad idea, Part 2?

Loyal followers of my questionable single life may recall my story from last week when I got liquored up and spent the night at a guy’s house who is closer in age to my adult son than he is to me. Outside of some heavy petting and making out, nothing happened. But the story doesn’t end there.

The next day, young “Zach” drove me to my car, gave me a huge hug and kiss and we parted company. It was his birthday, so I texted him and asked if I could take him to lunch. I felt just a smidge guilty that he didn’t get any birthday bootie the night before, though judging by the condom wrappers on his bedroom floor, I assumed he was doing just fine in that department.

And this is Grandpa…

When I arrived at Zach’s work to pick him up, his whole family was there for his birthday. I met his parents and his grandparents. His grandpa, who was an absolute dove (and who Zach sweetly waited on hand and foot) turned around at one point in the conversation and said, “You picked a keeper this time, Zach.”

Gulp. Zach and I both paled, as we were just drinking buddies and I for one intended to keep it that way. We had a fantastic lunch, and Zach started talking about how he wanted to make dinner for me the following week. Then he invited me to his official birthday party that night.

Meet my girlfriend

I showed up to Zach’s party and his girlfriend was there. I knew about her, and I can tell she’s not the girl Zach is going to marry. Still, even though Zach swears she’s not his girlfriend, judging by the way they were making out by the fire and the condom wrappers, I’d say she thinks she’s Zach’s girlfriend. I just laughed it off and was once again eternally grateful that I hadn’t slept with Zach the night before.

Yeah, no

On my way home, I got a text from Zach — “Wish I was going home with you instead.” Double gulp. I had to nip this in the bud right away. I responded by telling Zach I thought he was a sweet, great guy but that I was just looking for friends and that “friends with benefits” was never really my style. If he was cool with that, excellent and if not, I understood. He said he’s always looking for cool people to hang with and asked me out for a beer that night.

Yeah, yeah?

Since then, we’ve had lunch and drinks a couple of times and Zach really is a hoot. He’s funny, polite, good-looking, sweet, and after his birthday-eve where I played defense all evening, I know he has other talents. But he’s also 31 years old. For now, I’m going to continue to play it cool, but he does have me questioning my firm stance against “friends with benefits.” I think a lack of sexual activity is really starting to get the better of me, combined with my nowhere fantasies about my super-hot realtor.

He invited me to his house for lobster and golf tonight, and even though I told him I was sleeping upstairs and he’s sleeping downstairs, we’ll see how I do with Round 2 of resisting Zach…

More from Miss B. Haved

The day I learned my boyfriend was on
Attracting men just got a whole lot easier
Overcoming that awkward “Do you have a girlfriend” moment

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