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The strong, silent type: What you need to know before dating one

If Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome turns out to also be Mr. Strong and Silent, be sure you go into your first date prepared.

Consider these five unfiltered expert tips from clinical psychologist Dr. Ramini Durvasula, and learn how to enjoy a successful relationship with this mysterious personality type.


Don’t be alarmed if he’s quiet

You think it would be obvious, but many women are still surprised that the silent type is… well, silent. You may find yourself often wondering what he’s thinking because he doesn’t offer up information without prompting. You will be much better off if you decide up front that you are willing to live with his reserved ways and not let the mystery drive you batty. He may not want to talk about his feelings a lot, and if that is really who he is, be prepared for that from the get-go.


Staying in versus going out

Be sure you are OK with a little less socializing than what other, more outgoing men may prefer. The strong, silent types tend not to be joiners as a rule. They may prefer to be out of the spotlight, limelight and social circuit. If you are a homebody, this may be a good match for you, but dragging him to a club and expecting him to magically present a clever repartee will end up frustrating both of you.


Your end of the bargain

Before you fall for him, make sure you are willing to carry the conversational load. In general, people are either the talker or the listener in the relationship. With a strong, silent type, you should be prepared to keep the conversations moving. If neither of you are talking, it could be an awkwardly quiet relationship. If you require a lot of give-and-take in conversation, he may not be the one.


Be sensitive to the silence

You may need to consider tamping it down a little. While someone needs to be talking, too much noise may be a turn off. He may enjoy his strong silence, and like living in it. Much of your communication may need to be nonverbal. If you love to chat, remember he may not want to be talked at all the time.


Know where he stands

It may be hard to find out his beliefs on major issues, but you must know what he thinks if it is important to you. If certain opinions or principles are deal-breakers, they need to be out in the open before you are too far down the road. If you let him get away with keeping everything to himself, you may feel duped when you find something out later on in the relationship.


Matchmaker Stef Safran suggests finding out how his family and close friends communicate with him, and then following what they say works!

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