If you’ve been feeling like you’ve lost your desire for sex lately, you’re not alone. Everyone experiences low libido at some point. It’s frustrating, but there are some common reasons why it happens — and we have the scoop on what they are.
Libido-buster #1: An over-active brain
For those who just can’t switch off their thinking, it’s hard to relax and be in the moment to enjoy sex. Too many thoughts running through your brain is one of the biggest libido killers, says holistic nutritionist Sally Kravich. “This type of person is addicted to computers, Blackberries, iPhones, television and constant doing,” she explains.
If this sounds like you, there are a few steps you can take toward getting your over-active brain on track. “Four things help this person,” says Kravich. “An hour before bedtime, turn off your gadget or electronics, complete your to-do list, do cardio exercise after work and make time for romance,” she advises. Kravich also says that over-active thinkers like to be engaged in a romantic activity to turn their libido on, and suggests chocolate, or taking a calcium and magnesium supplement for relaxation.
Libido-buster #2: Exhaustion
It’s hard to relax when all you want to do is sleep, especially for mothers and otherwise ultra-busy working women. Give your body a break by setting aside time for yourself on a daily basis to relax, forget about work and replenish so you can feel beautiful, advises Kravich. “You can pamper yourself by taking a bubble bath with scented candles while listening to music rather than a quick shower; order in a nutritious meal so you’re not cooking; or get a weekly massage,” she says. “A little calming luxury time for you goes a long way to get you in a desirable mood for your partner.”
Libido-buster #3: Distraction
Being too distracted for sex is another thing that often stands in the way of a healthy libido. But having too much to do (or thinking you have too much to do) is not a good excuse, says Melissa Jones, personal sexuality education consultant. “When we say that we’re distracted, it means that we’re not prioritizing sex,” she explains. “Lock the bedroom door, shut off the TV and tell the kids to not bother you unless the house is burning down.” If you don’t block out distractions, you’ll continue to let them get in the way of your sex life.