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What turns him on and off when it comes to texting

Olivia Baniuszewicz

Since texting is the new first step in dating, as women, we simply can’t help but mull over every word and emoticon to ensure the 160 characters we craft make him fall in love with us.

Man texting

What do men really want from us over text? For the past four years, it’s been our mission at Flirtexting to study, analyze and decode texts from the men we date. When we’re not with him, we want to make sure he’s thinking about us. To get the scoop on how to make men fall (and stay) in love with us via text, we decided to go straight to the source. We asked tons of our hot, eligible guy friends and here are their uncensored answers.

This is what really turns guys on (and off) when it comes to women sending them flirty texts:

Texting turn-ons


Sarcasm and poking fun. Guys love women who can throw sarcastic and playful banter back and forth with them. For example, a guy you recently started dating returns from a trip and texts you with “I’m back.” Your response: “You were away?”


Movie quotes are always a good use of a flirty text. Whether it’s a movie or actor you both enjoy, try responding back to his text with a quote he’s sure to know.

Ask him out

While our traditional mothers might faint at the thought of us asking a guy out, our guy friends told us they actually appreciate the gesture. Avoid being too forward (e.g. “Do you want to take me out to dinner?”) and make sure your approach is subtle and feminine. Try something like, “I know a cute blonde girl who’s interested in hanging out Thursday night if you’re free.” By taking this approach, there’s still room for him to steer what type of date it’ll be.

Texting turn-offs

Using flighty abbreviations

Expressions like “Perf” and “Totes amaze” should be reserved for your girlfriends, not your crush.

Seeking approval

Asking him what he thinks about your outfit for your date or what you should order signals a lack of confidence and independence.

Using friend-zone terms

Using words like kiddo, sport and buddy in your flirtext to him is the quickest way to let him know you are not that into him.

More dating advice

New survey says women prefer to live solo
Is “just friends” for real?
Flirting expert reveals her flirting dos and don’ts

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