Arguments are a fact of relationship life, but they don’t all have to end in tears, screaming matches or worse. Learning how to fight right can save you lots of time, energy and nights where someone ends up sleeping on the couch.
Hear each other out
Even when things are heated and you’re losing your mind from the frustration of whatever it is you’re fighting about, it’s important that you both get a chance to air your grievances. At the beginning of an argument, make sure each of you is able to state your case. That means no talking over the other person or refusing to listen to their point of view. You can’t resolve an argument if you don’t know how the other person feels or why they feel that way.
Talking louder in an effort to get your point across is a popular technique when it comes to arguments, but it doesn’t really work. The more you yell, the more upset the other person is going to get, which means the fight just drags out even longer. Make an effort to keep your voice even and stay calm so you don’t make the situation worse.
Take a break
Feeling extra frustrated? If either of you starts to get really heated or can no longer think clearly, it might be a good idea to take a timeout from the argument so you don’t blow your top. Maybe it’s five minutes, or maybe it’s a full day, but if need be, call a truce so you can both regroup.
If the situation calls for it, apologize. That means if the argument was about something that turned out to be your fault, or if you were wrong and he was right, own up to your part in what went wrong. You don’t have to grovel or be extra sweet, but do be clear, honest and genuine when you say you’re sorry.
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