While your single friends might rave about one night stands, summer flings and hot sex with strangers, they likely don’t know what they’re missing when it comes to sex with your spouse. There are a few key reasons married sex trumps all other kinds. Some women we reached out to agree.
You know each other really well
While sleeping with someone totally new has its perks (everything is new, exciting and you both want sex all the time), you still don’t know each other’s bodies. When you’re married or in a long-term relationship, you know everything that turns the other person on, what they like, what they don’t — which can often mean a more consistently enjoyable experience. Satisfaction comes from being able to please your partner.
Real women speak: Sex was different when we first started dating, but now I feel like our connection is so much deeper, which translates into better sex.
— Mandi, from Orlando, married for six years
You’re comfortable with each other
When you’re married, or you’ve been with someone for several years, there are no more inhibitions about asking for what you want or feeling embarrassed because you didn’t shave your legs today. You’re at ease with one another so you aren’t focusing on whether or not he thinks you look good naked or how much he’s enjoying himself. You’re more in the moment, which equals better sex.
Real women speak: I used to be so nervous about having sex with someone new. I just couldn’t relax as much as I wanted to. But my husband puts me at ease so I can really focus on having fun!
— Carolyn, from Dallas, married for three years
You’ve learned to communicate
Good sex needs good communication. If you can’t talk about what works, what doesn’t and what you want to try, then you’ll never move past a sex life that’s just OK. Being married usually means you’ve been together long enough to communicate your needs, meaning sex can improve and get better the longer you’re together.
Real women speak: I always thought that sex would inevitably get boring as the years ticked by, but for us, things just keep getting better. I really think it’s because we make a point to talk about sex. It’s not a taboo topic for us.
— Angela, from Montreal, married for eight years