Chemistry is usually the first thing that draws you to someone new and then you build a deeper relationship from there (if you click on multiple levels). But once you’ve been together for a while, that elusive chemistry can fade.
If you’re feeling like the spark is on its way out, don’t panic. We’re here to help you get it back.
One thing that helps to create chemistry is that element of the unknown that comes with meeting and getting to know someone new. Every day is an adventure in learning about this new person you’re spending time with. Once you’ve been together for a while, there’s less and less to learn. Or at least that’s how it seems. Keep chemistry going strong by staying curious about each other. Continue asking questions and making an effort to find out new things about one another.
Be open to change
Relationships have a tendency to shift and change, but resisting that change and trying to keep things the same can be an instant chemistry-killer. Nothing is meant to stay the same (that can lead to a rut. See below), so the best thing you can do to avoid seeing your spark disappear is to go with the flow. Be open to new directions your relationship might head in or different sides of your significant other that are only now just appearing. You never know; those changes might lead to something even better.
Steer clear of a rut
Relationship ruts are like kryptonite to chemistry. One little rut has the power to take down chemistry with a single swipe, which isn’t good for anyone. Protect your passion by doing what you can to avoid falling into the dreaded rut. Try new things, set goals together, travel as a twosome, and forgo routine for spontaneity whenever possible.
Focus on the positive
When you meet someone new, it’s easy to only focus on their positive points because that’s all you see. Once some time has passed, you start seeing some not-so-positive traits pop up. The key here is to find a balance. No one is perfect, but the sooner you start focusing on the things that bug you about your guy, the faster that chemistry is going to fade. We’re not suggesting letting large issues slide (like he never pulls his weight or helps out), but if there are little things that irk you, don’t make those your focal point. Instead, think about what you love about him and what drew you to him in the first place.
It’s amazing how quickly the spark can come back with a bit of affection. You don’t have to be glued to your partner at all times, but holding hands, shoulder rubs, a hand through the hair and a spontaneous kiss can go a long way toward keeping chemistry going strong.