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Breakup stories: The weird, the sad & the just plain funny

Learn and laugh from these breakup stories provided by SheKnows editors and team members who shall remain nameless for obvious reasons. From weird fetishes to double lives, these stories will work out your funny bone and give your aching heart a rest!

Bad breakup note

Freckle fetish

“When I was a college freshman, I met the cutest guy in my history class. We were paired up for a project and really hit it off. We started dating and it lasted about three months; I even drove four hours to Wisconsin to meet his parents – so it was kind of getting serious. He had a lot of freckles himself and he always talked about how cute freckles were and how he had only dated girls with freckles in the past, but that he made “an exception” for me. I thought he was joking around about the weird freckle fetish but at first I thought it was kind of endearing.

Then one day he said he couldn’t do it anymore. He came over to my apartment and he said we needed to talk. ‘Look,’ he said. ‘I thought I could do this. I thought I liked you enough to make it work, but I just can’t get past the fact that you don’t have freckles. It almost grosses me out actually.’

His reasoning was so insane I wasn’t even mad. I was just grateful to get rid of him after finding out what a weirdo he was.”

Leave those with fetishes in the dust and instead find someone who appreciates you just the way you are!

Caught in the act

“One time I came in and found my boyfriend piercing his junk with one of my hoop earrings. And he slept with an axe and a leather whip under his mattress. He also pretended he was a struggling artist – had all these amazing drawings of women he said he knew. But I found a box of Cosmos under his bed and he had just traced them off the covers.”

Talk about an awkward encounter!

Latvian flag

Latvian liar

“My ex-BF of four years told me to move out a week before Christmas, saying he wanted to move to Latvia. A week later, he put on Facebook that he was in a relationship. She wasn’t from Latvia. And she had big gums.”

Holiday heartbreak

“I once broke up with a guy on Christmas (Christmas Day, no joke) and then we got back together a few weeks later and then I broke up with him for good on Valentine’s Day.

In my defense, he was a raging alcoholic and those happened to be the two days he was a special caliber of drunken jerk so I blame him.”

Scandalous snoop

After a romantic weekend getaway followed by a few slightly weird unexplained events, this girl found out the hard way that once a cheater, almost always a cheater.

“One weekend my boyfriend wanted to take me on a weekend trip. We had dinner plans at a nice restaurant and I was really excited since this was the first time he had done something like this for me. When we got to the restaurant, he was acting really weird and said he didn’t like the menu, and was adamant about ordering room service.

When we got back to the room, there was a card at the front door with his name on it. Because he was acting so weird, I thought maybe a surprise was coming. He opened the card, read it really quick and threw it into his duffle bag. I let it slide, and we stayed in, watched a movie and then fell asleep. Then, at about 2 a.m., the hotel phone started ringing off the hook. I would pick up the phone but no one would be on the other line. Once we got up, he started acting really weird again, said he wanted to go check his messages because there wasn’t any cell reception in the room… keep in mind this is 3 in the morning.

While he was away, I saw his bag with the card in it, opened it and it said in much more vulgar language, ‘I hope she was worth it.’ I just couldn’t believe this was happening; we were at a resort trying to have a nice weekend getaway. He gets back to the room, I confront him, his explanation was fishy, but I let it slide because nothing like this had ever happened before.

I came across his email which was open and read all these emails from other girls that he was having relationships with. We broke up.

Fast forward another month, and I move to Arizona to be with him and start fresh. Stupid me. He lost his business and could no longer make any payments, so I started to support him. Mind you we already had trust issues. One week I went away for business, and when I came back, there were really expensive bills on his Amex card for dinners and nice hotels. He was officially dumped after that. The whole relationship lasted four years. The first two were great, the last two sucked.”

Heartbreak comes and goes, but you can heal your broken heart and move on with your life even with the most scandalous breakup stories.

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7 Stages of a breakup
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