Between busy work schedules, chores, family responsibilities and an endless to-do list, finding time for sex can be difficult. But maintaining a close level of intimacy is an important part of making your marriage work and helps ensure your relationship remains strong. To help you and your spouse find more time for doing more than sleeping in the bedroom, we put together some simple but effective strategies.
For some expert advice, we turned to Dr. Steven Craig, author of The Six Husbands All Wives Should Have, for his advice on how to make more time for sex.
One of the best ways to ensure you make time for sex is to schedule it. “Set specific time aside for intimacy and let nothing remove it from the schedule,” Craig says. It might seem unromantic, but it works. “Unfortunately there are times when we can’t be spontaneous so we have to put important things like this on a schedule,” he explains. “Not everything or every time is perfect. Just get it on the schedule and you will find a way to make it work out fine.”
There’s no better way to get sex back onto your radar than to create some excitement around it. “Devote separate nights to focusing on a different partner’s needs and then talk to each other during the day about your plans for the other,” Craig advises. But be careful, he adds. This is not a license to be lewd or rude. It should be romantic. The more you look forward to sex, the more likely you are to want to make intimacy a priority.
Communicate what you want
Like creating anticipation, talking about sex can also boost interest in spending more time in the bedroom. “Have a talk with your partner about what you would like in the bedroom. Sure it can be awkward, but sometimes you have to get over these hurdles to get things on track,” Craig explains. Take turns discussing what you would like to see happen and what you want to try. The more honest you are, the easier it will be to start putting your sex life first.
Just do it!
It might sound bold, but why not initiate things yourself to get the ball rolling? “Many people wait for their partner to start things and that can lead to night after night of nothing,” Craig says. If your partner rejects your advances, then have a meaningful discussion about what your feelings and their feelings are, he advises. “If there is no desire over and over again, then you should get some counseling to deal with the bigger issues in the relationship.”
Bring back that loving feeling by focusing on romance. Go out to a new restaurant, do something nice for each other and make sure your time together is just about the two of you. “Devote one night to one spouse and the next to the other,” Craig says. “Talk during the day about your plans for that evening, have a conversation about what you would like from your lover, add a romantic meal, start early in the night before you are tired and disallow TV or computer in the bedroom.”