Break out of a relationship rut for good

No matter how hot and heavy things may have started off, all relationships eventually have ups and downs. It might feel like cause for alarm, but there are things you can do to bust boredom and rekindle romance.

Couple kissing on date

Take a look at our top tips for getting out of a relationship rut — for good.

Maximize the mundane

The stress of life – long days, epic to-do lists and endless piles of laundry – can often stifle the spark in your relationship, but we suggest taking the mundane and making it fun. Too often we do things separately in an attempt to get them done more efficiently, but we lose our togetherness in the process. Instead of toiling away solo, get chores done together! Turn on music you both love and clean the house together, work on the bills together and run errands as a pair. That way you can catch up while you work (especially important if you haven’t had much time to talk lately).

Be spontaneous

If you want to shake up a rut, you need to embrace change. Many people see change as a stressor, but it’s often just what a relationship needs to feel new. It doesn’t have to be extreme (a new job, a new baby, a new living location). It can be as simple as one of you having a new hobby, eating out at a different place or both of you trying a cuisine you swear you don’t like. If you are open to new experiences, you will have more to experience with one another, and a lot more to talk about as a result.

Continue to date — regularly

As relationships develop, the dating stage (complete with flowers, candles, dinners out and long periods spent gazing into each other’s eyes) tends to lead to a stage where both people stop trying to woo one another — which can quickly turn into a rut. Reserve a night a week that is just for you. Make a big deal out of it. Spend this night — whether you go out or stay in — focused on each other in a way that you haven’t been since the beginning stages of your relationship.

More relationship advice

Bring back the romance after having a baby
Top 4 tips for getting in the mood for sex
Love Happy: Beating the winter blahs

Ditch distractions

No cell phone

How many times have you sat in the same room as the person you love and not exchanged one word? If you spend more time bonding with your Blackberries than with each other, it’s time to disconnect in order to reconnect. Eat dinner together and don’t bring electronics to the table. Tune into each other and tune out from reading material, your phone and your iPad. In the evenings, spend 15 to 20 minutes plugging into each other every night, unplugged from the internet, TV and other electronic distractions.


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