Stuck in a dating rut? Break out of your funk this year and score your dream love (or at least have a good time)!
If you feel like you’ve been kissing a lot of frogs in your quest to find your prince, you’re not alone, ladies! We enlisted the help of Jane Atkinson, author of The Frog Whisperer and The Frog Whisperer Journal to set a few dating resolutions for 2012, and we’re dishing all the juicy details!
Show up fabulous
“When stepping onto the dating scene, you really want to put your best foot forward. If you’re miserable because you can’t take those extra 10 holiday pounds off, then wait until you feel great before venturing out. A big part of attracting the person who is perfect for you is putting out a positive vibe. When you walk into a room with body language that says ‘I feel fabulous,’ you’re making a statement. You’re saying, ‘stay away players and losers, I’m ready for someone great.'”
“My girlfriend Kerri always used to say that she was looking for someone to save her. When you’re looking to be rescued, you’re putting an awful lot of pressure on someone else to make you happy. My advice is to save yourself first. Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy and you’ll move into a balanced and equal relationship. The only person who should be in charge of your happiness is you.”
Do the work first
“Making yourself happy may require some work on the front end. Do you have baggage that you’ve been hauling around from relationship to relationship? Most of us do. And when we get to work recognizing the issues that have blocked us from love in the past, we’ll be taking steps to remove them for the future. There might be forgiveness or healing involved – heck, you might even need some therapy. If that’s the case, then seek the help to remove the barriers once and for all. You’ll be glad you took the time!”
Keep it light
“When venturing into the dating world, don’t put too much pressure on every person to be ‘the one.’ Keep it easy and breezy until you’ve spent some time face to face with that person. As an early adopter of internet dating (a million years ago when cell phones were as big as your purse), I learned this lesson the hard way. I’d spend days, weeks or months getting to know someone via email, only to meet face-to-face and realize there was no chemistry. By scheduling a coffee date early into the relationship, you won’t have built up huge expectations. That takes the pressure off the date and you can keep it light and fun. Remind yourself it’s just a date; you don’t have to marry the guy!”
Be the person you’d like to date
“Think about all of the terrific characteristics you might like in a partner and write them down. Let’s say you write ‘charming, funny, thoughtful and adventurous.’ Now try to be those things yourself. When we become the person we’d like to date, we love ourselves more. That is reflected in the way we ‘show up,’ and the person who is perfect for us will recognize it and be attracted to us. And for someone who doesn’t appreciate our qualities, recognize that he’s not into you and move along. Plenty more fish out there, and not every one will be a match.”