Every couple goes through phases where they feel disconnected or that intimacy is lacking. If that sounds like you and your guy, we’re here to help. We put together several simple relationship tips for boosting your bond and making sure this year is your most loved-up yet.
To learn more about reconnecting, we turned to Renee Trudeau, career/life balance expert, coach, speaker and author of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life, for some relationship tips on getting even more connected with your partner this year. She works daily with women and men on how to enhance their emotional well-being and connection to self and others.
Schedule time for your needs
Schedule time for self-renewal just like you would schedule a dentist’s appointment, Trudeau suggests. She and her husband pick one night of the week for a solo date to pursue their own interests. Having some separate interests and time apart helps bring you closer, she explains. “Then you’ll be able to fully enjoy and feel more generous and loving during your time alone together.”
Hug and kiss a lot
Don’t discount the power of small intimacies to bring you closer. “Kisses each day keep the therapist away,” Trudeau says. “Hugs and kisses in the morning and at the end of the day, quick neck or shoulder massages, gentle arm touches and holding hands are all thoughtful and easy ways to stay physically and emotionally connected to your partner.” This year, make a habit of doing this every night when you see each other after work and before you sit down for dinner.
Good communication is key when it comes to staying connected with your partner. Improve yours by developing some ground rules and strategies for communicating with your partner. Trudeau and her husband often opt for what she calls “quiet breaks” when they feel like they’ve reached their limit and are about to blow. “It’s always better to go this route than to say things you may later regret,” she says. Another good way to improve communication is to sit down with you partner at the beginning of the week to plan the week ahead and ensure you’re both on the same page. It can be helpful to give one another a heads-up if one of you has a particularly challenging week ahead and may need some extra support and TLC.
Give your bedroom a facelift
What does your bedroom say about your marriage? If it looks more like a cluttered mess than a romantic oasis, make a few small changes. Hang up pictures and place mementos of your partnership in your bedroom (photos of the two of you), add candles and try to have your bedroom be a “toy-free” zone. “Make it a space for relaxation and connection,” says Trudeau.
It can be so easy to get bogged down with chores, job stress and other day-to-day concerns that you forget to make time for each other. This year, make sure to talk daily. “Connect every day for at least ten minutes,” Trudeau says. You’ll be surprised at how much it boosts your bond. “At the end of each day, share your high and low moment of the day.”