Although it is unlikely that we’ll ever join you in your love of The Notebook, sometimes it is okay to be in touch with your sensitive side, and you just have to keep reminding us that. Here are some top tips on how to dig beneath the beer, cologne and testosterone and convince us to open up to you.
How guys communicate
It’s not that guys don’t want to communicate, it’s just that they do it differently. Being a man of few words doesn’t mean he’s not into you, it’s just a guy thing. Here are two simple equations to understand men better:
Men + communication = less is more.
Women + communication = tell us everything all of the time.
Men say what they mean and mean what they say
Ladies, men really do want to communicate with you, and they may actually enjoy it most of the time. Getting men to open up really doesn’t take much. You just need to let men do it on their own time, in their own way. Here are some examples:
Woman: Honey, how was your day?
Woman: Tell me about it.
Right there is the fundamental difference between men and women. When guys say “good,” it’s cause they mean good. That’s it! They’re not keeping secrets and there’s no secret password you need to know to get men to say more. Men are pretty simple that way.
Now, when it comes to arguments, that’s a different story.
Guys can get into an argument with very little effort, and will fight to the death. Just like you, though, they’d prefer to have a simple, peaceful conversation. So if you truly want to talk, don’t start from a confrontational position.”Why didn’t you do X?” is asking for a defensive response. Phrase your opening question carefully and you’ll soon find that getting him to open up is easier than you thought.
Let your guy communicate in his style and on his terms and he’ll open up more. It will probably still be a soundbite compared to your soliliquy, but chances are, it’ll work.