Authors Elizabeth Wiggs Maas and her mother Susan Wiggs of How I Planned Your Wedding: The All-True Story of a Mother and Daughter Surviving the Happiest Day of Their Lives, shared their tips on how to have a perfectly stress-free wedding with these five must-dos.
Take a moment to breathe
You probably have married friends who say the whole day passes in a blur. I was worried our ceremony would be over before I even realized what was happening, so I asked our officiant to pause and tell me to take a second, look around and create a memory. Maybe you want your first dance to be the moment you can look back on and remember with rich detail. If so, ask your DJ or band to give you and your husband 30 seconds to hold one another on the dance floor before you take your first step. Perhaps you want a clear, lasting picture of the first time your mom sees you in your gown – make the moment special, and ask your photographer to schedule in ten minutes to capture the look in your mom’s eyes when she sees her baby wearing the dress she’ll be wearing when she becomes a wife.
Have a post-wedding Mommy-moon
Whether you and your mom are best friends who agree on everything or control freaks who fight like two cats in a bag, give yourselves some time after the fairy dust has settled to debrief. You could do something as simple as going out for lunch or taking a weekend trip – or you could write a whole book together (that’s what we did). Whatever you do, give yourselves a chance to reflect on all of the awesome parts, and forgive each other for the times when things weren’t so awesome.
Eat a gourmet lunch
Make sure you have a quality, gourmet lunch on your wedding day. You’ve got a lot in store – posing for photos, chugging–er, daintily sipping champagne, marrying your best friend, dancing until midnight – you need to fuel up. And don’t count on being able to duck into dinner while you’re the center of attention.
Remember: you’re not psycho
For many brides, the wedding is kind of a big deal (to put it mildly). It’s not at all abnormal to have a meltdown over napkin colors, personalized toilet seat covers or your fiancé’s incomprehensible inability to care as much as you do about the length of your bridesmaids’ dresses. So go ahead and freak out – just don’t make matters worse by chastising yourself about it afterward.
Don’t kill your mother
Wedding planning can make you crazy, and sometimes matricide doesn’t sound like the worst idea in the world. If you and your mom are scuffling over every little decision, try splitting the decision-making power. Let your mom plan the rehearsal dinner menu, while you choose the flowers. Put your mom in charge of table settings, while you pick out the wedding favors.