Arguing about finances is an unfortunately common situation for many couples. Although these fights can be frustrating, SheKnows love expert Noelle Nelson offers a few tips to smooth over the problem and prevent similar arguments in the future.
Solve the problem
There is another way to handle this kind of argument, and you’re not going to like it.
It’s the one where you don’t scream at him, don’t blame him and don’t pretend it’s just a bad dream. It’s the response where you act like your grown-up, reasonable, mature self – your inner problem-solver. Yup. This is a problem to solve, not a war to be won.
Your husband is your ally! Just because he messed up doesn’t make him any less your partner. Oh, I know how good it feels to be righteous and blame him and act holier-than-thou about the situation, but that doesn’t get the utilities paid now does it? And it certainly doesn’t do anything good for your marriage.
Work it out together
So . . . knuckle down and be your best self. Bring forth all those skills you’ve long honed at work, on the PTA, or wherever else you’ve had to figure things out without screaming.
The more you approach your husband’s snafu as a problem for the two of you to work out together, the more likely you are to stay happy together. For example, figure out if you can get an emergency loan from someone in your family to cope with the utilities or get a payment plan going for the bill.
Sort out your budget by coming to an agreement on how much is available for “fun funds” for each of you, and agree to respect those limits. Too often, “fun funds” are completely overlooked, although we all need a little R&R in our lives. Better to plan for it than have the utilities cut off!