Feeling rushed? Barely enough time to shower let alone have a meaningful discussion with your man? We feel your pain! It’s not easy making a relationship work in a fast-paced world, but it’s also not an impossible feat. We turned to Renée Trudeau, a nationally-recognized career/life balance coach, to get her advice on keeping the love alive despite stress and a never-ending mountain of to-dos.
6 Strategies for staying connected to your partner in a fast-paced, high tech world:
Schedule time for your needs
Schedule time for self-renewal just like you would schedule a dentist’s appointment, Trudeau suggests. Each pick one night of the week for what she calls a “solo-date” and do your own thing. Have dinner with a friend, go shopping or hit the spa – without your guy. “Then you’ll be able to fully enjoy and feel more generous and loving during your time alone together,” she says.
A kiss a day keeps the therapist away
Hugs and kisses in the morning and at the end of the day are a simple way to stay connected when you don’t have a lot of time, Trudeau says. “Quick neck or shoulder massages, gentle arm touches and holding hands are all thoughtful and easy ways to stay physically and emotionally connected to your partner.” Make a habit of doing this every night when you see each other after work, before you sit down for dinner or before you go to sleep at night.
Take a time out
At the end of a long day (or week) feeling stressed is natural, but this can lead to petty arguments and unnecessary fights. Rather than saying things you might regret later, Trudeau suggest taking what she calls “quiet breaks” when you’ve reached your limit and feel ready to blow up at your partner about something trivial. Sometimes all you need is some time to decompress before going back in the room and discussing things calmly. She also suggests being mindful of how you talk to your partner, adding, “I know that my partner shuts down and withdraws when my voice escalates, so I try to be mindful of that.”
Make time to plan
If you can eke out the time, it can be helpful to sit down with your partner every Sunday night to discuss the upcoming week to ensure the two of you are on the same page. Even just five minutes will give you enough time to give each other a heads-up if one of you has a particularly challenging week ahead and may need some extra support and TLC.
Rearrange the bedroom
Is your love nest full of clutter? It might be time to reorganize and make your sleeping space a little sexier. Hang up pictures of you and your man and place mementos of your partnership in your bedroom. Add ambiance with candles, choose bedding in a rich, solid color and if you’ve got kids, try to have your bedroom be a “toy-free” zone. “Make it a space for relaxation and connection,” Trudeau says.
Connect every day for 10 minutes
At the end of each day, share your high and low moment of the day with your partner, advises Trudeau. “This is a quick but really effective way for to re-connect,” she says. If you have more than 10 minutes, incorporate this exercise into something romantic, like cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine or taking a bubble bath together.