It’s been months, and you still think about him. You might still love him, but there may be other reasons your ex occupies more of your time than you’d like. The relationship experts at SheKnows have come up with four other reasons you’re having a hard time letting go of the past.
You still want answers.
Some breakups seem to come out of nowhere, and these are often the most difficult. And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, you’re left with no explanation as to why the relationship ended. The more in the dark you are about what went wrong, the more you’re going to obsess about it — and your need for closure holds you back. If he hasn’t called so far, he probably isn’t going to, so do yourself a favor and move on.
You’re still angry.
If you’re still angry about how the relationship ended or some of the total-jerk moves he pulled, you’re likely having a hard time letting go. Moving past the anger and resentment you feel toward your ex can be difficult, but not doing so is allowing him to have a kind of post-breakup power over you. He doesn’t deserve the amount of time and energy you’re spending thinking about him (even if it is to send him negative thoughts). If anger is holding you back, it’s time to let it go.
Your ego is bruised.
No one likes to feel she’s not good enough or that she couldn’t be what someone else wanted her to be. Even if was for reasons that made sense (maybe you two just weren’t compatible or had goals that pulled you apart), hearing someone tell you he wants the relationship to end can be very deflating. If you feel like you had the upper hand in the relationship and then had the rug pulled out from under you, your ego has suffered. Don’t think of the relationship ending as a personal failure, though. Not every relationship will work out, and that doesn’t make you a lesser person.
You are not used to losing.
If you’re used to getting what you want and being the one in control, then getting dumped will feel particularly painful. You’re likely to obsess over what went wrong and how this guy managed to break up with you before you could do the deed first. Just because you’re never the one on the wrong end of a breakup doesn’t mean you should panic. Let go, move on and stop letting your need to be on top throw you off.