One of the hardest parts about being single and dating is dealing with the guys you like — who don’t like you back. It happened in high school, it happened in college and, unfortunately, it probably happens now. The worst thing you can do is obsess over the guys who haven’t reciprocated your romantic advances. Here’s how to avoid the tempting tendency to obsess.
Set a time limit.
Obsessing for a little bit is OK, but give yourself a time limit. The longer you fixate on something, the more significant it gets in your mind — so by setting boundaries, you’re ensuring you don’t let yourself get consumed by the guy of the moment. Allow yourself one or two days to mope and then move on.
Have a ceremonial cleansing.
If setting a time limit doesn’t work, you may need to take things to the next level by doing something symbolic. Delete his number from your phone and delete him as a friend on Facebook (if you’ve already added him). If you really want to show yourself it’s time to stop obsessing, write his number on a piece of paper, crumple it up and throw it away. Sometimes a more tangible approach is necessary to put a guy out of your mind.
Use the reward system.
Rewards help people quit smoking, lose weight and bust other bad habits, so why not implement the same system? Treat yourself to a manicure, buy that cute sundress you’ve been eyeing or give yourself the night off from housework if you can go a week without thinking about him.
The best way to take your mind off one guy is to meet another, better guy. Gather your girlfriends, plan a fun night out, be bold and talk to whichever guys you think are cute. The point isn’t to hook up or get any numbers; instead, you just need to show yourself that countless guys are out there, so you don’t need to waste time obsessing over the one who isn’t calling your back.