Many a married couple will tell you that having kids kills the romance, and in many cases parenthood puts intimacy on hold. There are mouths to feed, diapers to change, school to think about and little dancers, hockey players and gymnasts to pick up from various classes – who has time for romance?! But all is not lost where love and parenthood are concerned. We have some simple yet effective strategies for balancing your relationship with raising a family.
Remember you’re still a couple
With so many responsibilities and parental duties it can be hard to remember that even though the two of you are parents, you’re still a couple. Think about all the things you used to talk about and do together before the kids came along.
We don’t expect you to be able to do everything you did before you had a houseful of little ones to take care of, but it is important to think of yourselves as individuals and also two people in a loving relationship, rather than caregivers and nothing more.
Forgetting you’re more than just parents can take its toll on your twosome.
Make evenings about you
Even if you’re exhausted after working or taking care of the kids all day, take at least 30 minutes once the kids are in bed to talk like adults. The only rule to this 30-minute exercise is that you’re not allowed to talk about the kids.
As parents it’s difficult to discuss anything but the kids (we understand, they’re adorable), but put an effort into having grown-up conversation about real life issues, things you’ve read or seen or goals and desires you want to revisit or put into action.
Schedule one kid-free night a month
Getting a babysitter every weekend might not be within the budget, but do try to commit to and schedule one adults-only night every month. This night is your chance to go out and do whatever you want to do, sans kids. Use your newfound freedom to rediscover each other and reconnect as a couple. Being a parent is a wonderful experience, but youand your partner also have to work on your relationship.