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Pre-wedding jitters

He proposed, you said yes, the wedding planning is in progress — but something doesn’t feel right. You might feel less than thrilled about your impending nuptials for any number of reasons. Here are a few — and what you should do about them.

Bride with cold feet1You’re stressed out with planning.

If you’ve been planning your wedding for what feels like forever, feeling stressed out and ready to call it quits is only natural. Before you call off the wedding for the sake of your sanity, know that you don’t have to do everything on your own. Enlist the help of your fiancé, your bridesmaids and your family to minimize your wedding planning fatigue. There are no rules that say the bride-to-be must handle everything, so don’t run yourself ragged.

2There’s too much meddling.

The opinions and demands of your mother, your almost-mother-in-law and your maid of honor are probably driving you crazy. All this chaos might have you feeling like throwing in the towel — and throwing away the engagement ring — but try to stay calm. Gently and nicely tell everyone around you that this is your wedding and you have final say on every last detail. If all else fails, nod and smile at everyone who has an opinion, with no intention whatsoever of acting on said opinion.

3You’re freaked out about size.

Maybe your fiancé talked you into having a big wedding when all you wanted was a small, backyard ceremony and intimate reception. The idea of a small wedding turned huge can give even the most excited brides-to-be cold feet. To calm your nerves,compromise with your guy. For example, maybe he’d be willing to scale back the mind-boggling number of people on his half of the guest list if you agree to a larger wedding than you’d imagined. That means cutting his elementary schoolteachers, neighbors he hasn’t seen in 10 years and former coworkers he never actually liked. Try to find a happy medium.

4You don’t believe in marriage.

Some people just don’t need certificates and wedding bands to show their love and commitment to their partners. If you’ve been coerced into having a ceremony (by your parents or his), you might feel like you have no say in your own life. This situation comes down to your ideals and beliefs versus your family’s happiness. You must determine what each is worth and if you can live with yourself if you give in and have a wedding. If you’re just going through with it for other people, compromise and make it a small, untraditional ceremony. If you want to have a BBQ or go bowling for the reception, so be it.

5You’re just not ready.

Cold feet also can mean that you aren’t ready to get married. If that’s really the case, sit down with your fiancé and discuss your feelings; the last thing you need is to say “I do” without really meaning it. Maybe you need more time, or maybe you’ve fallen out of love. Whatever the cause, any second thoughts you’re having need to be taken seriously. First, make sure you’re not just dealing with one of the above scenarios, and then talk to your partner about postponing until you’re ready.

More pre-wedding advice

10 Rules for bridezillas
How to discuss your wedding budget
Make the most of your long engagement

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