You love your guy, you really do, but boy, can he be a pain! You ask him to help with one simple thing, and it’s “No! Can’t you see I’m busy? Not now!” He’s ornery. Difficult. Stubborn. Irritating. You can feel yourself getting worked up as you stare at the man, wondering what you ever saw in him. Ever. Now you’re getting even more pissed and self-righteous.
I mean, all you asked was could he please watch the baby for a minute while you took a shower.
When you finally get to the shower, you’re even more incensed. How dare he! You do 90% of the housework, chores, taking-care-of-the-kids, plus go to work, and hardly ever ask him for anything! By the time you get out of the shower, you’re glowering. You yank the baby from him, lips tightly pursed, and announce “I’m going to my mother’s!”
He’s all “What did I do now?!” And you’re thinking “If he can’t figure it out, I’m not telling him!”
Crying on your mom’s shoulder might comfort you for a while, but it makes more sense to figure out how not to get all wrought up in the first place.
The love nest egg
You need a nest egg. Not the money kind (although that is a good idea) but the love kind. You know, something you can draw from when he’s being cranky or lazy or irritating, not fit-to-live-with, and you need it now.
A love nest egg is a list you compile of all the ways in which your sweetheart is wonderful. It’s a list you add on to whenever he’s being his sweet self, his considerate self, his dreamy I-love-him-so self. A love nest egg is something you keep carefully stashed in your underwear drawer and stare at to remind yourself of the 90% of the time (OK, 82%) that he’s a good guy, the one that makes you laugh and the one with whom you fell deeply in love. (Not to mention the one you so enjoyed making that baby with.)
Uh-huh. See? You’re smiling already.
So take some time to build that love nest egg and refer to it when you’re going through tough times. A caring and understanding relationship will surely flourish because of your efforts.
More love Expert advice
- Is your inner control freak affecting your marriage?
- Is his procrastination driving you crazy?
- How to turn a horny boy into a willing toy