If you really want to know if you and your honey have what it takes to make it for the long haul, try these four activities, all designed to put your relationship skills to the test. If your relationship passes with confidence, you can look forward to a healthy, happy, sustainable future together.
The road trip test
The road trip is the ultimate compatibility test. It may sound idyllic, but in reality, a road trip challenges a couple with its hours upon hours of idle time. Can you stand each other for that long? Can you compromise on music choices? How do you navigate the directions? Who decides on stops? Are you on the same page about planning or lack thereof?
The bottom line: How you copilot a road trip can tell a lot about how you might copilot a life together.
- conflict resolution
- ability to share quiet time together
- music compatibility (more important than you might think!)
- general likability
The 20 questions test
While you certainly don’t need to be two of a kind, you must be like-minded when it comes to your value systems and your viewpoints regarding the future. For this relationship test, you need 20 small pieces of paper, two pens and a hat or a bowl. Each of you writes down 10 questions you’d like to ask the other person. These questions should surround issues of morality (Do you believe in spanking kids?), values (Is cheating once grounds for divorce?) and future visions (Would you consider living in another country?). When done, put all 20 in the bowl or hat and take turns drawing the questions. Answer all 20 questions (both of you!) to get to know each other’s core better.
- knowledge of self and partner
The Vegas test
The very thought of Las Vegas stirs up a lot of insecurities in significant others when a partner goes off for a weekend there alone. Maybe it is the excessive drinking, the scantily clad women or the tagline “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Whatever the reason, you must face these insecurities head and heart on, not shy away from them. After all, not dealing with them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. So with this test, you’re each going to take a guys- or girls-only trip to Sin City. During your respective trips, there are to be no obsessive check-ins.
The point of this trip is to trust and to feel trusted.
- good decision-making (i.e. drinking, spending money, etc.)
The sex cleanse test
No matter how fabulous your sex life is (or isn’t), looking at your relationship without sex can be extremely telling. You might find that sex is the tie that binds, and without it, you don’t have much — or you might find that you are brought even closer without sex. You will never know if you don’t try, but one thing is for sure: Once a couple starts having sex, sex becomes a big part of a relationship – whether you are actively doing it or actively talking about the fact you never do it. So for 30 days, take it off the table and pay attention to how the two of you treat each other.
Is your relationship enriched by this test or does it fall apart?
- emotional communication
- development of “me” time and “we” time
Is he that into you?
Dating advice expert Dr. Diana Kirschner lists the questions you must ask to find out if he’s into you or not.