Don’t let the humdrum day-to-day routine drag your marriage into a slump. Refresh your relationship by revisiting (and refreshing) your goals. Here’s how to set goals with your partner in nine steps.
Recapture your honeymoon dreams
Remember when you were newlyweds and you had a list of remarkable dreams — all those things you planned to do for yourself and as a couple? Where did the time go? And more importantly, where did the dreams go? Often in marriage, day-to-day responsibilities overtake those dreams. That’s why it is essential for couples to press “pause” and reevaluate the status of their life together. Looking back and ahead by setting new goals in all areas from money to sex to kids to travel and more has tremendous benefit to a marriage. So grab your pen, paper and your wildest dreams, and get ready to make them come true.
Why set goals?
- Helps couples strengthen their relationship by working as a team toward a common aim.
- Improves communication because it gives each person a chance to talk about personal dreams and desires, and helps partners understand themselves and each other better.
- Validates desires and holds you accountable to each other.
- Can be the glue that holds you together during even the most challenging times.
- Provides tremendous satisfaction when objectives are achieved and gives a couple reason to celebrate.
How to set goals
Make a list
First, individually (and privately) create a list of goals. Set an appointment with each other to share your lists, making sure you have ample time to truly search your soul and uncover what is important to you as an individual, as a couple and as a family, if applicable. Include practical and shoot-for-the-moon goals.
Try one of these exercises to get your juices flowing:
When it is time to share your goals, make an evening of it. This is a wonderful opportunity to get to know your partner better and bond your relationship, so treat it specially. When sharing goals, be sure not to criticize, no matter how farfetched the idea is. Encouraging words only are allowed in this step. Reality checks come later.