Occupation: Owner of Killerweightloss.com and Killershade.com, builder of sexy twisty shade structures
Relationship status: Divorced and looking
I have to be honest with you right off the bat. I have no idea what I am supposed to be talking about. I got “write a 400 word bio… the good stuff”, to me this translated “rant on anything you
want for 400 words” (If you think I am counting all these words, you are nuts). Enough about that, let’s talk about me!!! I was born a poor white child smack in the middle of Phoenix’s ghetto. Skip
a bunch of boring details, my mom meets a less broke guy than ourselves and we move into the glamorous sub-ghetto. I go to high school (good stories here, but nothing I am going to share with you
people), qualify for a full ride scholarship to world renowned Glendale Community College where I promptly get bored and drop out two months later.
Next on the agenda, I get the bright idea to sell cars for a living (this happens when you have a high desire for money and no discernable skills). I have instant success at hawking cars, but grow
weary after a couple of years and decide that owning my own business is the way to go. Did I mention I met and married an amazing (and way too hot for me) woman in this time? Well I did. Get over
Said amazing woman and I decide that Colorado is the place for us, so we save a bunch of money (in retrospect it was very little money, but we were pretty impressed with ourselves), moved to Grand
Junction, Colorado and purchased a commercial cleaning business. Are you bored yet? I’m getting bored just writing all this crap!! We grow the business, sell it and decide to move back to sunny
Phoenix, AZ to make our fortune. Did I mention we had the cutest little boy sometime in there? No? Pay better attention next time!!
In Phoenix, we take the proceeds from the sale of
aforementioned business and buy the most boring business known to man – Del Riko Custom Fabric Design and Manufacturing – try jamming that mess onto a business card… Moving on!! Wife becomes
disenchanted with me (how is that possible?!?), divorce and much sadness ensue.
Divorce does not sit well with me and I am now a full blown basket case. Unable to continue working and “being professional” and unwilling to fight over the business with now very angry ex wife, I
start a new venture (www.killershade.com there’s video ladies…) which is based on being real and having fun! It goes swimmingly, the good folks at SheKnows.com get a hold of me and promise fame
and fortune and I find myself sitting at this computer writing this silly bio. Think I’m done now. Go find something useful to do with yourself!
Q&A with Mike
1: So what would women be wise to do? How would we best approach you guys… let’s say we’re dating and we want to go that next step?
I like girls that kind of have their own thing going on and they’re not like, “Oh my God, you didn’t call me. Where’re you at?”
2: What’s the most annoying thing a girlfriend can do in a relationship?
Being negative – I hate that. Being real needy, like they have no life of their own, low self esteem is being pain in the ass, negativity – a big pain in the ass. A sense of entitlement, like I
need the world to do things for me. I got a list that I can pull out – and some charts.
3: Why are some guys so turned on by the girl-on-girl action?
It’s because guys are gross and women are beautiful. Have you seen women?
4: Lingerie or naked?
I always go naked – I never wear lingerie! I can’t pull it off, I’m hairy. It’s disgusting.
5: What do you really want in bed? For women to be the boss or for you to be the boss?
Up next: Why guys cheat according to mike
6: We’ve heard some guys say they are turned off by
really lean, athletic women with more muscle than they have. I know it largely depends on the guy, but what do you think?
If she’s more muscular than him, then nobody should have sex with her. Ever!
7: What if you married a girl who started out really physically fit and tuned into how she looked and then she has the kids and lets herself go. How would you manage that in a long-term
Mike: Well I’m not going to answer any different. They gave the nice-guy answer. You know, I can’t …
SheKnows: Just answer… you’re divorced now!
Mike: This is why! I would cheat. No, I’m just kidding. Don’t put that in! It’s a joke!
8: SheKnows readers want to know… why do men cheat?
Aside from opportunity, I really think that cheating is almost never the problem, it is always the result. Like if there’s something going on within the relationship – like that’s Step 1 and you
take steps apart. Step 2 is distance. Then cheating is like Step 27. So you’ve got to rewind and take a little bit to find out what really happened. He cheated, she cheated, he’s wrong, she’s wrong
– I think there was some foundation a lot earlier on that they don’t pay attention to. I don’t think you can affair-proof any sort of relationship, but I think a big part of it is making sure that
you’re close and you’re intimate, and when the opportunity presents itself – because it will – the guy or gal isn’t looking for that. I think there’s a lot you can do to make a strong foundation,
but I don’t think you can affair-proof it. But if she says “Hey I love you, I want to be with you, and you want to be with me, and if ever you want to go do something different, then I’ll be
sad…” I think that will go a lot further.
9: Do you believe in that concept of “the one”?
I once read somewhere that you don’t want to find a girl who you think will love you for the rest of her life… that could set you up for problems, because everyone lets you down, we’re all human.
But when you find a girl that makes you say, “I want to love that person for the rest of my life” and be able to contribute and say “This person is so special, I want to contribute to them
forever,” that is when I know that’s who I want to be with. Marriage is a long haul and 30 years from now she may not do that for me. I’d rather find a woman that brings that out in me and makes me
want to take care of her and be a support for her. That lets me know I’m on the right track.
10: Is there a right way for a woman to end a relationship?
11: What are the qualities and characteristics that make you head-over-heels for a girl rather than just a hook-up or a platonic friend?
Confidence goes a long way. I’ve found that the real good-looking girls are pains in the ass, not real confident, and are all tied up in their looks and not real confident in who they are. The real
cool girls that you want to hang out with are often times not as easy on the eyes. If I can find a really good-looking girl that is down to earth, and sweet, and kind and understood, “My looks are
one thing, but I am who I am,” that would be fantastic.
12. If a woman loves her partner but the sex is underwhelming. What should she do?
Physical touch is a big deal, but I am sensitive around it. I’ve got to imagine other guys are too. If you’re supportive and say, “Hey, I really love you, I’m really attracted to you, I really want
to have sex, I want to have more sex, I want to have great sex, what can I do? How can I help you?” I can’t imagine a guy that’s not going to get into that.
13: If you could have any three things in your perfect woman, what would those three things be?
Self-confidence, good looks, and kindness. Big boobs, little waist, and lots of money. No, not lots of money, something else… loves sex. Yeah, what good is big boobs, little waist and they hate
sex. That’s just a pain in the ass. I’ll take a broke chick that likes sex over an uptight, rich chick anytime.
14: SheKnows wants to know… What do YOU want?
I don’t feel like I’m this half-person waiting for the perfect woman to come along and save me – I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. I think I’m looking for two whole people that can be
really synergistic and complimentary, where together, we have something great.