Okay, I’ll admit it — I don’t entirely know what I’m doing in bed. I try my best and I’ve learned a couple of tricks over the years, but as far as knowing it all — there’s still so much for me to learn.
So, I turned to my guy pals for their sex pointers. After all, they know best. Here, they reveal what they like and don’t like. Next time you’re with your beau, keep these sex tips in mind.
Don’t be self-conscious
“There’s nothing more unattractive than a girl who is insecure about herself — in bed or out of it,” says Jeremy, a 30-year-old single man. “If she loves her body and knows she’s beautiful, that only makes the sex better.” So in making love, always remember you’re attractive. There are days when we won’t feel super-beautiful (hormones, stress and all). To remedy that, trick yourself by wearing sexy lingerie, using self-tanner or giving yourself a glow with some blush before the deed.
Don’t be too loud
Despite what you may have seen on porn videos, moaning and groaning loudly is not something every guy asks for. In fact, out of the four men, I surveyed, three of them claim a girl that’s too loud during sexual intercourse is a turnoff. “It’s really distracting,” says Jeremy. “I prefer a girl who makes satisfying noises that are subtle.” So ladies, keep the moans to a minimum and definitely don’t scream unless you really can’t help yourself, that is.
Do tell us what you like
“Girls who direct me and tell me what she wants from me during sex is a big turn-on,” says David. “A girl who does nothing in bed and isn’t an active participant, as in someone who’s really quiet and doesn’t give you positive reinforcement and feedback, should just get out of bed and stop altogether.” For David, it’s not fair for the man to put all of the work in. You’re in the moment, as well, so tell him what you like — that way, it’ll only excite him (not to mention, you) more.
I’ll admit this to you now since we’re on the subject — I once dated a man who had a serious TV issue. Once, I caught him glancing at the TV during foreplay. I was mortified. Looks like I’m not alone on this shame. “I caught my girlfriend (now ex) doing the same thing,” says Bryan, who’s now a happily married man. “We were seriously in the middle of ‘things’ and here she is with her eyes on Grey’s Anatomy.” Bryan’s only advice for the ladies: Give your guy some respect. “Turn the TV off or leave it on, but don’t watch it,” he says. “If you really don’t want to miss your favorite show, then DVR it and watch it right after we do it, or let’s just not do it until after the episode is done.”
Do go downtown
Three of the men surveyed for the purposes of this article claim they appreciate a girl who goes “downtown.” “It feels really good,” says Jeremy. “If a girl doesn’t do it, I just assume she’s inexperienced, not enjoying herself or a prude.” Ladies, the men we talked to say that it adds something exciting (and really enjoyable to the mix) and they like it. So don’t be lazy, and give it a whirl, I don’t care how tired you are. Hopefully, he’ll return the favor.