It’s hard to put a time stamp on anything. When girlfriends ask me for my advice when it comes to any relationship standard, I usually answer: “It really depends on the couple.” But now that I think of it, when it comes to hitting the sack with a new boyfriend, friend or potential lover, it’s important to have your reasons. Don’t just jump into bed just because you feel like it.
Have you ever heard anyone say that women can’t have sex like men? Well, it’s true. When a woman sleeps with a man something happens, emotions take hold, she may get attached. And, it’s important to protect yourself because this has happened many times before. Do you want to be that girl who is hopelessly devoted to a guy who may not feel the same way?
In order to protect your heart and rep, look for these reasons before you hop into bedroom fun.
You might be ready to have sex with him if…
If you’re over your last boyfriend
Girl, if you’re on a rebound of any kind, stay away. You may find yourself wanting to get intimate with someone just to get over that last guy. Don’t do it! I’ve seen this happen before. Girl goes through a breakup and jumps into the next guy’s bed. Do you know what happens next? She ends up staying with someone she will later realize she’s lukewarm for. When you’re going through a breakup, sometimes your heart lies to you. It just wants to be happy, but sleeping with just anyone won’t necessarily make it happy in the long run. Make sure you’re over your last beau before you get a new one.
If neither of you are attached and are just looking to have a good time
Yes, “F buddies” are okay. But here’s what’s important about partaking in such a union – you both have to be agreement that neither of you want a commitment. If neither of you are attached to each other (and other people, that is) and you’re just looking to have fun and fulfill those sexual needs, then I say go for it. But, if one of you may have feelings for the other (you know, in that “I want to be with you” sort of way), please refrain. That can only lead to heartache. Make sure you’re on the same page of fun then go have some.
If you’re exclusive
Enough said – if you and your new guy are seeing each other and only each other, then go for it. The commitment can be hot, for one thing. Not to mention, it’s the safest sex you can have. Not only will your heart be safe (after all, you know how your man feels about you), but you know he’s not running around sleeping with others. But beware ladies, some men may lie to get you into bed. Make sure he is, in fact, into you and you only. Then, go at it and enjoy.
If he’s the one
Is he the one? You’re sure of it? You’re going to marry him? You two will live happily ever after? Then there’s no other reason not to make love. But wait, make sure he feels the same way. If you’re ready to march down the aisle, might as well test the product before you buy it. Let’s just hope you like what you’re going to get.
If you know you won’t regret it
Sleeping with someone should be an enjoyable opportunity. Intimacy is great when it’s with the right person. Clearly, if you think you’ll feel “icky” about sleeping with some guy, he is probably not the right person to make love to. Many a times, girls sleep with men and end up feeling so grossed out, they won’t even tell their friends it happened. That’s not right – that’s not fair to you or the man you slept with. This is obvious enough, but I still feel the need to say it – if you’re going to regret having sex with him, then why are you having sex with him? Pick someone worthy and will make you feel the warm fuzzies.
Want more dating advice?
7 Deadly sins of dating
The shy girl’s guide to picking up men
The truth about relationships: What couples say they have learned
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