Each lover brings something new to the table. But, somehow they all manage to make the same mistakes when it comes to sex. Here are some of the things that irk me the most.
MISTAKING PORN FOR REALITY
Just because I’m double-jointed doesn’t mean I’m capable (or willing) of twisting my body in all sorts of crazy ways. A lot of men forget that porn stars get a lot more practice than women in real life do and that it’s just plain nuts to try to imitate a lot of things they see on television. While I’m all for using my imagination in the bedroom, there is a line thin between a flexible woman and a porn star.
MAKING ME DO ALL THE WORK WHEN I’M ON TOP
I love being on top but that doesn’t mean that I love to grunt and groan and get a mean workout while he just lies there. It especially gets on my nerve when I see him cross his arms behind his head and just lay there with a smirk on his face! I know this is my time to shine, but would you mind showing some appreciation? Caress my body, manhandle my boobs—do anything that shows that you’re alive!
NOT BEING ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WHEN I WANT PLAIN OL’ MISSIONARY
Again, I’m up for experimenting, but sometimes I just want sex, old-school style. And you should be able to read my mind when I do.
NOT KISSING FIRST
If I’m not getting paid to have sex with you (just kidding), I expect to be treated with love and respect and kissing is a big part of it! I understand your carnal desire to strip me of my clothing and take me right then and there, but sneaking in at least one passionate smooch is a must.
BITING MY NIPPLES
My breasts love being played with, but they’re still a very sensitive part of my body and some men tend to forget that. Please handle with caution!
FINISHING TOO SOON OR NOT FINISHING SOON ENOUGH
I’ve come to expect that the first round will be quick and usually more about him than me; that’s why I look forward to rounds two (and three) with a lot of anticipation. If I’m letting you pass on the first try, you better make sure I get my share the second time around. But, pumping away like a jackhammer doesn’t necessarily do it for me, either. So, find that happy medium that will rock both out worlds!
ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
“With my eyes closed I can tell the difference between something being inside my nose and inside my ear,” says an editor at The Frisky.com. “Don’t even try to get the switcheroo past any woman. You will lose her respect and give her hemorrhoids.” If you want to go that route, ask! I may or may not say yes, but don’t try to sneak it in. It never works.
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