When someone tells me that sex — and sex alone — can keep a marriage together it makes me laugh. To be perfectly honest, I have never (and I mean never) met a cock that could make me stay with a man that I didn’t want to be with anymore.
However, there is a pastor in Florida who is urging people to take a 30-day sex challenge. The idea is that the couples — who may or may not be in relationship distress — will have sex every day for 30 days.
According to this church leader, if these couples want to get a divorce, at the end of this time, they will no longer want to end things. Life gets in the way, according to Pastor Paul Wirth. It doesn’t have to get in the way though. A little sex will cure all of your relationship ailments and get you back on the right path.
There are some rules to this challenge though. For example, you have to actually be married to apply. You shouldn’t just go sleeping with random men or your boyfriends. Admittedly, this means that I cannot participate unless we’re talking common law. Then I’m good to go.
Seriously though, this entire idea makes me laugh. I don’t know what is funnier: The fact that this is a pastor’s idea or that it’s possible that this could even work. The only way it would work is if the problems were sexually based. If the problem is something else — such as irresponsibility or money issues — then having sex may be fun, but it won’t solve the problem. It also won’t help the people that are in different places in their lives — for example, where one wants children and the other doesn’t.
Divorce rates are high enough to assume that almost everyone that marries will end up in divorce. As a sex educator, I realize how stifling those statistics are. However, I also realize that sex is not the only glue that will keep you faithful and in a situation where you can truly honor your vows.
I would think that the right thing to do (and it’s certainly something that I advocate, though I recognize that it doesn’t meet the church’s goals), is to be certain you’re marrying the right person in the first place. People rush into marriage because they want sex, they are having kids, or because there are plenty of benefits to being married. In the beginning, love is indeed intoxicating.
It’s funny how playing house can change that. I think that more couples need to live together — and they definitely need to experience sex with one another — before they can truly commit their entire being to the other person. This experience gives you the chance to know everything you need to know about your partner and whether or not you are truly suited for a life with him or her.
Reality and a consistent attempt at honesty in your relationships, in your own personal life and decisions you make will take you much further than anything else ever could.