You aren’t a chocoholic, or are you?
1. You like to dip strawberries, cherries and bananas in chocolate so you start experimenting at dinner with broccoli and cauliflower substituting chocolate for cheese.
2. You buy a bottle of chocolate syrup and carry it around in a small paper bag for a quick nip when you need it.
3. You pour yourself a cup of coffee in the morning and use twelve chocolate spoons. You never touch the coffee.
4. You were delighted to discover that they make a chocolate bar for PMS, so you buy yourself three every month to get you through pre-menstrual, present-menstrual and post-menstrual syndrome.
5. Your significant other buys you a five-pound box of chocolate for Valentine’s Day and you eat the whole thing in one night. The next morning you try to call in sick, but you can’t dial the phone because your sugar levels are so high you can’t calm the tremors. So you nurse yourself back to health with little nips from that chocolate syrup bottle.
6. Whenever you see ‘Back-to-school’ advertisements you drool because you know there will soon be kids at your door selling the World’s Finest Chocolate bars for a dollar each.
7. When kids come to your house on Halloween you ‘make change’ by depositing hard candies in their pumpkins and withdrawing Snickers, Crunch, Hershey’s and 3 Musketeers bars.
8. Whenever there is a morning meeting scheduled at work you grab a double chocolate monster-sized muffin to go with your cup of cocoa, then sit on the edge of your chair all through the meeting waving your arm calling, “Me, me! I know, I know!” and they have to call a break so you can walk off some of the effects from all the sugar.
9. You actually call it a ‘hit’ at three o’clock in the afternoon when that chocolate craving strikes and you need it to get through the rest of the day.
10. You’ve eaten all twenty-four pieces of chocolate in your advent calendar by December 1st.
11. You think the best after-holiday sales follow Halloween, Valentine’s Day and Easter.
12. You think Hershey’s 65% cacao bars are for rookies and Lindt’s 85% cacao bars are for professionals.
13. You think it’s great when you go on a diet and the breakfast bars, snack bars, protein bars, and shakes come in chocolate and you’ve actually tried diet chocolate-flavored cola.
14. You plan to start a grassroots movement to get the cacao bean listed in the protein section of the food pyramid.
15. You think the woman in the Dove commercial who’s satisfied with just one piece of chocolate is faking it.
16. You’ve got ‘Chocolate Forever’ tattooed on you somewhere.