Weddings are stressful as hell, but that is no excuse to treat your guests poorly, especially when it comes to circumstances out of their control. Unfortunately, one /AmITheAsshole Redditor encountered this firsthand when her just-married friend callously asked her to go home and “cover up” her psoriasis-addled skin for the wedding reception.
User @Wonderful-Target3072 gave this context: She (24F) has a severe case of psoriasis. According to Mayo Clinic, this skin condition causes rashes with flaky, scaly patches. It is incurable and often very painful.
“The psoriasis is all over my body with it stopping right on my neck, and I do have a few spots on the sides of my face near my ears,” @Wonderful-Target3072 explained. “I have medicated cream that helps with the itchiness, and also it helps with the dryness.”
“I’ve always been pretty embarrassed as I cannot cake on enough makeup to truly cover my psoriasis as it is textured and thick,” she continued. “And on top of that, no matter what I do or however I attempt to apply said makeup, it always looks horrible. My doctor also recommended not to smother the areas with makeup as it tends to make it worse and itchier.“
Enter @Wonderful-Target3072’s friend, the aforementioned bride who recently got married. She was invited to the wedding, which she attended with her boyfriend. Given her self-consciousness about her skin condition, @Wonderful-Target3072 opted for a dress that would “cover my body fairly well, as I really didn’t want to draw any attention to myself.”
She also tested different concealers the week before the wedding to see if any were thick enough to cover her rashes. They weren’t — and they ended up irritating her skin even more.
“My boyfriend… told me I shouldn’t worry about it, and that it would be better if I stopped trying to cover them as it was just making it worse,” @Wonderful-Target3072 recalled. “I reluctantly agreed, and we attended the wedding ceremony. It was great. I was extremely happy for my friend and her now-husband. But as we were leaving to go to cocktail hour, she pulled me aside and asked if I was going home to cover my psoriasis.” I’m sorry, what?!
Obviously, @Wonderful-Target3072 was “a little taken aback” by the very superficial ask. She explained that she couldn’t cover the rashes (and had tried, extensively, to no avail).
“[The bride] told me she didn’t care and that this was her wedding, and she didn’t want her guests asking me questions or feeling queasy during dinner,” she recalled. “My boyfriend stepped in and told her if that was the case, we would be leaving and not attending the rest of the wedding. She was pissed off and extremely angry at that choice, and ever since then she’s been ranting to our friends about it. AITA?”
Redditors in the comments were quick to back @Wonderful-Target3072 up — and condemn her extremely self-centered, looks-obsessed “friend.” The bride’s request was beyond insensitive. Not to mention, it preyed on all of @Wonderful-Target3072’s insecurities. After all, this is a chronic skin condition we’re talking about. She lives with it each and every day.
“NTA. She’s more worried about how your skin looks than your health,” one Redditor wrote. “She’s not a friend, forget about her. And well done to your boyfriend for sticking up for you!”
“My friend with psoriasis came to my wedding, and no one had a goddamn thing to say about [it],” another commenter shared. “My husband I were just happy he was there to share in our celebration. Cut that dead weight out, and fuck anyone who is so concerned with the superficial that they would rather hurt someone they claim to care about than just love and accept them just the way they are.”
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