Planning a wedding can be stressful AF, especially with ultra-religious family members in the mix, but that is no excuse to be hateful. Just ask this gay Reddit user, who skipped his sister’s nuptials after she disinvited his boyfriend to appease her homophobic fiancé.
One user took to the famed Am I the Asshole? (AITA) Subreddit via a throwaway account for some unbiased opinions on his situation. He recalled how he and his sister have always been close, even after he came out as gay at 14. But their dynamic shifted when she met her now-husband, who “grew up in a very traditional Christian household.”
“I should mention that despite being supportive when I came out, my sister has always been neutral about politics,” he explained. “After she met her BF, that’s when I noticed our relationship started to change. When I would talk about guys, my sister would get visibly uncomfortable and change the subject.”
He says he grew apart from his sister over time, although he was “happy for her” when he found out she was engaged. Coincidentally, her wedding was scheduled for the same date as his current boyfriend’s birthday. They’d discussed this ahead of time, so the user thought he was in the clear to bring his BF to his sister’s wedding — that is, until the night of the rehearsal dinner.
“I noticed my sister seemed somewhat distant,” he wrote. “At one point, I could see her fiancé looking toward my BF and me and whispering, ‘They’re going to make me and my family uncomfortable.’”
Things escalated quickly from there: “After dinner, my sister pulled me aside and told me she didn’t think I should bring my BF to the wedding. … I was pretty offended, and I asked her why she had a problem with me being gay all of a sudden. She said it was fine that I was gay, but I shouldn’t force it on everyone else. That was the last straw.” Yikes.
He ended up ditching the wedding and going home to celebrate his BF’s birthday at a gay club. He hasn’t spoken to his sister since. He expressed some guilt about his choice, especially since he was set to be a groomsman, but AITA Redditors overwhelmingly had his back.
Many were quick to point out that simply existing as a queer person does not mean you are “forcing” your sexual orientation onto anyone.
“‘Don’t force it on everyone,’ she says, as she throws a party for a hundred people to watch her kiss her idiot husband,” one commenter wrote. “NTA at all, and I hope y’all had a great time.”
“I find it heartbreaking that she allowed this bigoted homophobe and his family to change her views and ruin her relationship with you,” another Redditor opined. “I’m glad you stood by your boyfriend. A gay club sounds much more fun than a wedding with guests who judge you for whom you love.”
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