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Sex Toy Sommelier is our sex toy matchmaking and advice column at SheKnows. Whether you’re taking your first brave steps into the world of sex toys and sexual health accessories (welcome, it’s fun here!) or an old pro looking to add some new goodies to your existing collection (hello to you too!), Health & Sex Editor Katherine Speller is here to help SheKnows readers level-up their bedside tables, toy chests and/or DIY sex dungeons with the tools they need to feel deeply satisfied — and give some pro-tips on how introduce some of these new toys and tools into your sex life along the way.
Write in to let us know what you’re into, what you want to be into or what you’re in the market for via our hotline (we’ll keep things anonymous, of course) and we’ll do our very best to drop a range of toys and sexual health products that meet your tastes, wants and needs. While money certainly can’t buy you love, it can buy you orgasms — which can be just as good, TBH.
And we’re back! Here at Sex Toy Sommelier, we know that pleasure is something that everybody and every body deserves. And we’re all about making sure your sex toys are able to meet you and your body where you’re at — regardless of your individual needs, abilities, comfort and taste.
Which brings us to our question for this month:
Hi! My pronouns are she/her and I’m a bi cis woman. I haven’t been very sexually active with partners since the pandemic started, but my self love routine has been feeling a little rote lately. Typically I use one or two wand vibrators at a time but handheld penetration can irritate my carpal tunnel! Do you have any recommendations for shaking it up?
(Carpal) Tunnel of Love
There’s an App for That
One of the first options that came to mind for you was one of my favorite lines of toys right now: Satisfyer’s App-controlled toys. These are excellent for hands-free play and partner play, in particular, because you just need to download the app on your smartphone (they connect via Bluetooth) and you’re given tons of ways to take control of your stimulation without doing too much of the work.
You can do it manually, using the “live play” function or use one of the program modes (you can make one yourself, have your partner make you one or download from the app’s community) and let it do its thing.
An Adjustable Option
Because you do like penetration, this is another rabbit-style pick that might be intriguing for you: Smilemakers’ The Artist vibrator. The thing I like most about this one is the ways it centers clitoral stimulation and comfort regardless of body and vulva shape, meaning it can be pretty versatile and suit a lot of different body types.
The adjustable nature of it’s shaft and clitoral stimulator can also make it easier to troubleshoot than a rabbit that doesn’t share its flexibility and let you get the exact angle you want without needing to exhaust your hand and wrist.
(Note: This one does have a “squeeze sensor mode” — which allows you to use the pressure of your hand to adjust the sensations. It is a cool feature but very much not the vibe if your carpal tunnel is acting up — so you might want to avoid that mode or lock it in to the pressure you desire early on.)
More and more toy makers are waking up to body-friendly toys that work with what our bodies actually need — and my favorite to drop in recent years is Dame’s Com.
It’s a comfortable, curved wand vibrator that doesn’t skimp on sensation and is incredibly easy to hold (or prop up) near you or your partners desired spots without too much hassle.
When in Doubt? Mount
Falling a little more into the category of accessory, I would also say that investing in a sex position pillow — great for modifying your favorites or for trying new positions when playing with partners — that also includes a toy mount. Something like this one from Liberator
or this inflatable one
is a great way to make any toy a whole lot nicer to your carpal tunnel.
Whether you want to pair it with a penetrative toy or a wand vibe — check out which your mount is more suited for — you’ll be in a better position to grind or ride and give your hands a rest.
It’s no fun trying to get yourself off when you’re dealing with pain. But, luckily, there’s plenty of toys out there that let you work around those issues and actually spice things up along the way.
We’ll be back soon with another edition of Sex Toy Sommelier and don’t forget to send us your sex toy matchmaker asks so we can help you find your perfect sex toy match. And, in the meantime, check out 69 (nice) sex positions that you should add to your bucket list: