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Welcome to Better Sex With Dr. Lexx, a monthly column where sex therapist, educator and consultant Dr. Lexx Brown-James shares expertise, advice and wisdom about sex, relationships and more. Approaching education about sex as a life-long endeavor — “from womb to tomb” — Dr. Lexx (AKA The #CouplesClinician) is your guide to the shame-free, medically accurate, inclusive and comprehensive conversations for you, your partner and your whole family.
It’s officially Black History Month and Love Month with Valentine’s Day and Galentine’s Day on the books. What better way to celebrate than by putting these three ideas together to highlight Black sexuality folks who help bring forth love (and pleasure) through their work?! Here, I’m going to introduce you to a few of my favorite pleasure professionals. They are sexuality educators and therapists using comprehensive sexuality education to help bring you the most pleasure.
And because you are loved (and they’re my very own Galentines). As an added bonus, each pleasure professional provided a discount code for you to shop their product at less than retail!
For those looking for kink
First up is Kathryn Sabir-Beach founder of House of Bawdy. The House of Bawdy was born to celebrate and prioritize sexual wellness. The House contends that all people are sexy, and those who are rarely seen, noticed, and prized are especially so. With dildos in various colors, erotica that uses familiar language, and toys made specifically to accomodate bodies of size, House of Bawdy offers imagery and pleasure in the gap where most are not represented.
Check out the House’s offerings on their website and use code: LEXXLUV22 for 20 percent off any order or the next 30 days.
For those looking for self love
Chanta Blue LCSW, CST is an author, speaker and certified sex therapist from New Jersey. She specializes in working with women of color, and folks in romantic relationships who are interested in improving their self-esteem, experiencing sexual difficulties, premarital counseling and exploring BDSM/kink and consensual non-monogamous lovestyles. Her passion lies in aiding women in reducing shame related to their sexuality and finding pleasure in not only their sex lives but their lives as a whole. She is the Co-Founder and Director of Therapeutic Services at Blue Counseling & Wellness Center, a nutrition and mental health wellness center aimed at empowering, educating, supporting, and guiding those who are looking to transform their lives. Chanta is an internationally known speaker and is the author of For Colored Girls Who Need A Break When Being A Super Woman Is Just Too Much.
We know that to achieve max pleasure, there has to be relaxation. (Chanta’s book helps others achieve the grounding necessary to get to max pleasure and using this link you get it for $20 instead of the usual $24.99.)
For those looking to deepen connection
Meet Mx. Lena Queen, who is the executive director of The WHOLE-Self Healing Institute. At the Institute you can work on “unpacking and unlearning negativity you learned about yourself” and your lover to increase eroticism, sexual pleasure, social expectations, and desirability. Through intensive digital erotic coaching you can engage in one-on-one coaching or engage in a 90 day group erotic journey which may be perfect for friends and polycules. The Institute also offers pleasure workshops and progressive relaxation which is key to getting to the ultimate feelings of pleasure.
If you use the promo code LEXXSEXDOC you get a 20% discount on the Healing Institute’s digital and live erotic coaching offerings.
For those looking to heal after grief
Jeanae Hopgood, MFT is a sexuality professional that specializes in getting back to intimacy after loss. While not the sexiest, still quite necessary as many lovers are healing after perinatal and infant loss. The loss of hope that there can be intimacy and pleasure again is real and prevalent. With Black Angel Mom, Jeanae helps lovers come together and build intimacy after an impossible situation. Through using her workbook and intimacy exploration cards you can learn more about how to support your lovership while healing from loss and moving through grief.
For 10 percent off products use promo code DRLEXXPP.
For those looking to enhance skill
Ask Goody should be a household name. Sexologist Goody Howard MSW, MPH, recently named a top 100 Pleazure professional is a sex educator that asks you to ‘Be good or be good at it” and helps you to do so. From teaching LICK (the how-to oral sex class) to Rideology (a how-to have intercourse in a mounted position while going easy on the knees class!), Goody embodies the idea that sexual pleasure is sexual health. She works to ensure that everyone has access to sexual pleasure and offers a wide variety of tools at askgoody.com. One such tool is The Tootsie which is a super stretchy masturbation sleeve that has a ribbed canal and made of soft silicon for ultimate pleasure.
Use the promo code GoodLovers to get 15 percent off any pleasure tool purchase on askgoody.com.
Each sexuality professional listed wants to enhance your pleasure. Try taking what you need, stepping outside your comfort zone and exploring something new for this love month. The bonus is that you can support Black-owned businesses while you’re at it.
Before you go, check out our 69 (nice) sex positions you can put on your bucket list: