When we’re talking sex positions, we tend to focus solely on the main event: where to do it, how to do it and how to transition from one part of doing it to another part of doing it. Mostly absent from this discussion is any mention of foreplay positions — the very stuff that gets us doing it in the first place. This oversight is negligent at best, criminal at worst. Because after all, one can’t have a middle and end without first having a beginning. And really, one can’t reasonably expect to reach a rewarding conclusion without putting in at least a little work on the front-end.
The beauty of the foreplay position is its inherent versatility. You can start with it, finish with it, or throw it in somewhere in the middle—and it won’t ever feel out of place. Foreplay needs no introduction (that’s its entire raison d’être), but it’s not strictly introductory, either. While every foreplay position can serve as an opening act, many can pinch-hit as sideshows and main events, too. It’s entirely possible to craft a well-rounded sexual repertoire using only foreplay positions. Try crafting one without using any at all, though, and you’ll likely feel the absence.
Of course, some might make the argument that foreplay positions go so oft-overlooked because there simply aren’t that many of them. There are only a handful of ways to do foreplay—and all of them are pretty self-explanatory. Sure, but the same could be said about sex itself. The whole thing is pretty straightforward, but that doesn’t keep us from inventing slightly new ways to do it or discussing its many intricacies. If we’re willing to dedicate so much time and energy to getting it on, surely we should be able to give foreplay its due. Without it, everything feels a little bit lackluster. But with it, that same set of actions can feel absolutely inspired.
The Virgo is a perfect position for impromptu oral sex—or foreplay that feels a little out-of-the-box. Start by standing with your back against a wall. Your legs should be far enough apart that your partner can sit down—facing you, with their legs crossed—and slide in between them. From there, lean against the wall and bend your knees until your partner has ample access to your nether parts. From there, you can engage in some serious finger and oral play—and your partner can even reach around to grab your butt, too.
The Low Doggy serves as an excellent precursor to from-behind penetration, but it’s exciting enough to stand on its own. Start by lying, face-down, on your bed, a couch, or some other comfy surface. Bend your knees so your feet are in the air, and feel free to slide a pillow under your pelvis to make things a little cozier. Invite your partner to climb on top of you so their knees are aligned with your knees, and their head is aligned with your head. From there, they can penetrate you with their fingers or a toy. And for a little extra excitement, they can grab your hair and pull it, too.
As a foreplay position, the Mirage goes both ways—inviting both you and your partner to get in on the action. Start by lying down with your knees bent and your feet planted on the ground (or the bed, or the couch—you know the drill.) Invite your partner to kneel, straddling your head, facing your legs. From there, they can bend over to reach your genitals—which should, in turn, give you all kinds of access to theirs. From there, they can stimulate you with their fingers or a sex toy, and you can go down on them.
The Temptation is a fun way to turn up the heat—before sex, in the middle of it, or even at the end of it. Start by lying down on the edge of a surface—ideally, somewhere that’s pretty high up. Think: a table, a countertop, or possibly a bed (assuming it’s adequately lofted). Once you’re lying down, bend your knees and pull them into your chest so your feet are way up in the air. If it’s comfortable, you can even rock forward a little bit and prop yourself up by bending your elbows behind you. From there, invite your partner to approach you. They should be standing, facing you. Once there, they can stimulate you using their fingers or a toy, and you can reach down to stimulate them as well. The best part? This foreplay position puts you face to face, so you can kiss each other the entire time.
The Reverse is an excellent foreplay option for those looking to try something very new. Start by lying down with your knees bent and your feet planted in front of you. (The bend can be pretty subtle; just focus on what makes you feel stable and comfortable.) Invite your partner to lie down on top of you. They should be facing the ceiling, with their head aligned with your legs, and their legs bent, straddling your head. Once there, adjust until your partner’s genitals reach your mouth and you can engage in some serious oral play.
The Hunger is a classic foreplay position—one you’ll likely recognize, even if you’ve never called it by that name. Start by sitting on the edge of your bed, with your knees bent and your toes grazing the floor. Invite your partner to kneel in front of you, facing you. From there, they can engage in all kinds of finger and oral play—even stimulating you with a toy, if you so choose. Since this position starts on the bed, it’s a perfect segue into more classic penetrative sex—as well as other kinds of foreplay.
The Tamer is an incredibly cozy form of foreplay, fit for lazy mornings and sleepy evenings, alike. Lie on your side, and invite your partner to do the same—but they should be lying perpendicular to you, with their upper body nestled between your legs. (You should be able to make eye contact. If you aren’t, one of you is facing the wrong way!) From there, they should have easy access to your genitals, giving them space to stimulate you with their fingers or a sex toy. And you can reach behind yourself to stimulate them, too.
Another classic form of foreplay, the Compliment is an easy addition to anyone’s sexual repertoire. Ask your partner to kneel, just behind the edge of your bed. Then, kneel on the ground in front of them. Adjust as necessary until you can easily reach their genitals, and then stimulate them using your mouth, your hands, or a sex toy.
69 by another name, the Pendant invites you and your partner to pleasure each other in equal measure. Invite your partner to lie down with their knees bent and their feet planted in front of them. From there, you can climb on top of them, facing them, with your legs straddling their torso and your head snuggled in between their legs. From there, you should have access to their genitals, and they should have just a little access to yours. This should give you both the opportunity to stimulate each other however you see fit—with your mouths, your hands, or a couple sex toys.
Remember, your safest and smartest sex partner is you. Try out these masturbation positions for DIY pleasure: