When you conjure a mental image of shower sex, it’s probably a bit cinematic. Considering most of us lived through the glory days of rom-com sex scenes, it typically looks like two people thrusting and kissing passionately under a flow of water, hot steam rising out from above the sliding glass door as the camera pans out to the rest of bathroom and its newly-renovated veneer. But I wonder: Has anyone ever actually had good shower sex that’s perfect and polished?
It’s more likely that real shower sex looks like water and mascara mixing down your cheeks, having a shit ton of fun soaping up your partner, and experiencing intimacy like a real human that can laugh through the messy bits. Because let’s be real and clear something up: Water is not a lubricant, and the architecture of some showers are a cramped accident waiting to happen. So, when you’re dealing with something as slippery as shower sex, you can expect things to go awry — but that’s okay! It can pretty much be anything you want it to be, in whatever type of shower-y bathroom situation you have available to you.
There are so many meaningful ways to leverage shower sex and help your relationship take on a new, more intense flavor by hopping in a stream of water and sliding around. Here are a few shower sex positions to try that are accessible for everyone (even those of us that lack the terrifying flexibility and coordination that sex in water might require).
Think of this shower version of missionary, because it’s a great go-to front-facing position that still gets you hot-and-bothered.
With you and your partner both standing, hitch your leg around their hip, or prop one foot on the edge of the tub or shower stool (to keep things sturdy). From here, your partner can enter you, introduce a waterproof vibrator, tease you with a detachable shower head, or whatever the mood calls for.
Soggy doggy is a slight twist on the most classic standing doggy-style. Lean forward and brace your hands on the shower wall or floor for stability, with your knees slightly bent. You partner can penetrate you from behind, or reach forward to tease your clit or breasts. A non-slip bath mat can help support this position if any thrusts tend to be especially powerful.
Sit and ride
When having shower sex, you want to have fun and not overthink it, but there are some logistics to consider. To make sure you’re not stuck in a compromising and wet situation, this position allows you and your partner to sit on the floor, so there’s no slipping or falling.
Here’s how it works: Have your partner sit on the tub floor and straddle them in whatever position you like — and you guessed it — then simply take a ride on top. This allows for clitoral access, G-spot stimulation, and the ability to pull your partner even closer, all while being immersed in a warm flow of water.
That’s a pretty sexy name, right? When there’s not a lot of space to get creative, a little oral never fails.
For this position, stand and face the shower head, or sit on a shower stool if you have one available. Your partner can kneel in front of you and please you with their mouth, adding fingers or a rumbly waterproof sex toy for extra fun, all while the warm shower water cascades over both of you (hint: that’s where the waterfall part comes in). Ask your partner to take turns, so they can enjoy being on the receiving end for a little while.
Back to basics
If penetration and the ultimate task of shower sex isn’t your thing, don’t worry, because those positions don’t cover a fraction of all the ways you can have fun — there are other ways to enjoy a sexy shower moment with your partner, from scrubbing each other’s bodies to mutual masturbation.
An easy way to please? Play with yourselves while kissing or watch each other masturbate. Stand behind your partner and reach around them for a handy with silicone-based lubricant. If you’re feeling lazy, just have a steamy makeout session under the showerhead or lying in the tub.
Basically, have shower sex on your terms, without getting stuck on the traditional requirements.
A version of this story was published November 2019.