New year, new (sexual being) you, right? If you want to start 2019 with added sass in the bedroom, think about adding new sex positions to the mix. It never hurts to switch things up. And even if you try something new and don’t love it, that’s OK. It’s all about safe and consensual experimentation and communication with your partner.
I’ll try (almost) anything once. But if it doesn’t get me hot and bothered, I’m happy to chalk it up to experience and walk away. And if your go-to positions work for you, that’s great. If it feels good, go with it. When it comes to sex, there’s no real playbook other than for pleasure to be fun and legal, and all parties to be on the same page.
But if you are in the market for a new position (or six), we recommend these.
Mistress Couple is the author of The Ultimate Guide to Bondage: Creating Intimacy Through the Art of Restraint, and her go-to is the leapfrog position.
“It’s basically doggy style, except you rest on your chest and head rather than arms,” she tells SheKnows. “Hello, G-spot!” This year, she’s excited to try the “bound leapfrog,” which involves tying the wrists to the ankles.
“This will leave me or my partner no choice but to surrender to the pleasure! It’s also very versatile — if you get tired or sore, you can flip onto your side or back without untying,” she adds.
If the idea of exploring a dominant and submissive dynamic appeals to you, incorporate face-sitting into oral sex. It works well with both penises and vulvas.
The basic gist? One partner lies back while the other partner straddles themselves over their mouth to receive oral sex. If a penis-haver is doing the face-sitting, I find it most helpful to use a pillow to prop up the giver’s head. One note: Be sure to pay attention to visual cues and communicate with your partner to gauge how deep and hard the face-sitter can go.
This position flips the script on doggy-style and is one of my all-time favorites — especially if you like deep vaginal penetration. There are two ways to approach it: Stand at the edge of the bed with legs on either side of the corner. Lean over the bed and let your partner enter from behind. This allows for enough stability where the vulva-haver can push back on the penis or strap-on for even deeper sex.
Another option is to get on all fours at the corner of the bed with your knees slightly apart. Drop your bottom to meet your partner for intense penetration.
Over-the-shoulder G-spot holder
For deep penetration, writer and sex educator Gigi Engle recommends this position. Lie on your back and have your partner kneel in front of you. Place your ankles and then knees over his or her shoulders. ”He or she should be able to easily pick you up to thrust into [you] hard if you use your legs for balance. This position allows for super-deep penetration,” Engle tells SheKnows. “It might even smack up against that G-spot. This is not a position for the faint of heart. It takes balance and flexibility.”
Backdoor play gets a bad rap, but when done properly, can be a mind-blowing experience. The key is to take it slow and use lots of lube — the wetter, the better. It’s also important to trust your partner and communicate any discomfort along the way.
Anal sex should never hurt, and no matter how much lube you use, some sphincters and penises aren’t a great match. Sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing. That said, I very rarely orgasm by penis-in-vagina sex alone but can come with some clitoral foreplay followed by anal sex. That novelty factor combined with the unlikely chance of pregnancy (with fluid-bonded partners) makes this position a pleasure winner.
And if you’re worried about making a mess (it happens, and it’s perfectly normal — it’s your butt, after all), you can always wash before any hot and heavy anal action takes place.
Jack Vitel, relationship expert and founder of Road to Solidarity, suggests this variation on the standard doggy-style position. Here’s how it works: Both partners start by positioning themselves as they would for a standard doggy-style (one partner on top, the other below), but instead, both partners lower themselves down so they’re almost (or completely) flat on the bed.
“I’m excited to try this position because it will allow me to use one of my hands to stimulate her clitoris and thus give her an orgasm more easily,” Vitel tells SheKnows. There’s another benefit too. “My girlfriend hurt her wrist at the gym, and as a result we cannot do standard doggy-style anymore. This modified doggy-style position is a great substitute.”
So get down and get to it — 2019 will be a year of great sex!